Loneliness

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This topic has 5 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 5 months ago by Monk.

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July 7, 2017 at 2:03 pm #156916

Nikki
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I feel alone all the time.

I have parents who don’t visit me.

I have brothers who can’t even be bothered to text me or visit me even if I am in hospital.

I have friends who only contact me when they want something from me.

A boyfriend that I live with that pretends I’m not there.

People say to me, you have friends, family and a boyfriend how can you be lonely?!

I spend most of my days alone, no one calls or texts. My ‘boyfriend’ comes back from work and does his own thing. We share a bed, and that’s all we share.

I get up, I go to work, I come back, I sit home alone and I repeat. That’s my life.

I don’t know what to do.

July 7, 2017 at 4:28 pm #156940

Roxanne
Participant

Hi Nikki,

I’m sorry to hear that you feel so alone. I’ve felt this way most of my life. Not to make this about me, here is what I learned from my life experiences. Maybe some of these will resonate with you 🙂

1) you have to start feeling comfortable with yourself and actually enjoy your own company (takes a lot of introspection, trust me)

2) ask yourself why you attract or are attracted to indifferent folks, such as your boyfriend who pretends you’re not there. is it them or are you being too needy? this is not a judgment just putting it all out there. Have you told your bf how you feel and that you would like him to be more attentive to you?

3) what do you enjoy doing? do you have any hobbies?

4) just because we have people around does not mean that they “get” us and we are not alone. I felt alone with my ex-husband the last 2yrs of our marriage. Like you mentioned above, we just shared a bed.

5) exercise helps a lot! it boosts your mood due to increasing endorphins and it might make you more interested in meeting new and different people. try to go outside your comfort zone.

6) get a dog. they are lifesavers 🙂

7) the hardest thing I’ve realized in my life journey is that the only one that can change and/or make things better is you. others don’t change for us. they do ONLY when they are ready and willing to do so. don’t waste your time with people that make you unhappy.

I hope this helps, Nikki! Hope you feel better soon

Roxanne

July 8, 2017 at 7:58 am #157010

Anonymous
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* I am posting this because the last reply was not submitted correctly and the original poster may not know there is a (valuable!) reply to her post.

anita

July 8, 2017 at 3:52 pm #157086

Mark
Participant

Hi Nikki,

Maybe you can change your attitude of being alone from loneliness to awesomeness! Decide who is most important to you that makes you feel good about yourself, and not bad, and focus on those people. Don’t worry so much why others don’t call or text. Spend your time focusing on your own growth, your own progress. Create hope and possibility! As Roxanne said, become a person who you love to be around! I think it was Dawg The Bounty Hunter who said it was only when he started to love himself when someone he loved found him.

July 9, 2017 at 8:37 am #157186

PearceHawk
Participant

Hi Nikki…

I don’t have parents since both have passed. I had a brother who died from a drug over dose. I had 2 sisters killed by a drunk driver, both in the same crash but it was neither of them that was drunk. I USED to have “friends” who contacted me only when they wanted something from me, usually money. I live with a g/f but that relationship has evolved into a girl friend, a very disconnected relationship, which is a result of not seeing her because she works at night for 12 hours. But I am not alone. I explore new places, I do what some consider to be life risking behavior such as paragliding. Along my journey I meet many good people who share exciting stories of our life. If we evolve in to being good personal friends, great. If not, great. Nothing about me has changed. But at least I got to meet some awesome people. I tell people that I am a needy person. I need to experience life, love, happiness, exciting journeys. And when I do experience those things, it is because I sought those experiences out.

What Mark said is solid advice. Run with that for a while. And as you continue on your journey, most importantly, love yourself.

Pearce

July 9, 2017 at 9:07 am #157192

Monk
Participant

I empathize with how you feel. One more piece of advice for you to think about. You should be very open about expectations from immediate family – Parents, Brothers etc. after all they are family, maybe you are not reaching out to them for help – there is no harm in that.
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