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living with someone new but missing my ex, I’m so confused

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  • #190117
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear purpleguitar:

    Maybe you should take the time now, while living with your current boyfriend, to do what you needed to do in-between boyfriends and didn’t.

    Maybe it is time now. Could be quality psychotherapy, perhaps, to take a breather for some insight and understanding, to take time out from the action you want again, in your life, with the second boyfriend who is occupying your dreams? Take time out to figure what is driving you…?

    anita

    #190259
    Flove
    Participant

    I’m not sure I can give you much advice. But I can relate. I had a relationship for 1 year, we ended it and then we started another year of constantly making up and breaking it off again. I was broken, mentally and physically, I couldn’t deal with the pain anymore. And my ex didn’t care, he kept lying to me to get me in his bed and I was in love enough to not see through the games. So in short, a very toxic relationship.

    And then I met my current boyfriend. He’s amazing, he loves me so purely, he works hard for our relationship, he is kind. But I don’t love him as much as I love my ex. It’s just how it is. Eventhough this is the man I want a future with, I know that the feelings I had for my ex were much stronger.  He was everything to me, but he was also toxic, put me down all the time and he didn’t love me all that much.

    Yet I keep missing him, I think about him a lot even if I have a new partner. What you’re experiencing is the end of the honeymoon period with your current guy. You were crazy about him, but now the butterflies have gone, you’re doubting about it all. What I can say to you is: wait. You will miss your ex, some days more than others. But don’t give up yet.

    Those feelings for your current bf might return. They did for me, after struggling for some weeks I kind of fell in love again with my current boyfriend. I pushed through my old hurtful feelings, I just let them be because they don’t do me any good if I act on them. Maybe you could block your exes, they left you and do not deserve you anymore. They shouldn’t contact you and put thoughts in your head. It will make you insecure every time.

    Good luck <3

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