I am a little lost in terms of what to do with my life lately, and having been to therapy before, and having read all kind of support material through out my life, I post this looking for another way to get things out and listen to others’ opinions.
It is hard to sum it all up in a few lines, but the point is at the present moment I am very unhappy and unfulfill with my job, tired of living pay check to pay check hardly making it…but I am “comfortable”, and that is the problem…
I am not lazy or content, I am just very fearful of certain aspects of myself that I have not been able to control in the past, such as anxiety, panic attacks, extreme muscle pain periods (from fibromyalgia), IBS attacks, etc etc. So, after some years of trying to fight against all odds and holding a very demanding job while finishing my career on aviation, I made some changes in my life and got to a place where things were simpler and easier to manage. That worked for a while, but I feel now I’m stuck in that place and I don’t know how to “want” to get out of it again. I feel that if I stay in this place, I am limiting myself and what I have today is what I will have tomorrow, nothing less but nothing more…
A part of me wants more…specially when I think about me and my partner’s financial situation and how we are not able to do many things we want because of the lack of money. But a part of me is absolutely SCARED of leaving this comfort zone and trying new things out just to realize that those aspects of myself that made it so dificult for me in the past, are still there and I won’t be able to deal with them.
My partner is very comfortable too and has very similar fears so we don’t do a good job helping eachother get unstuck…
Any thoughts in the matter will be appreciated.
peace