Hi Miracle88,

Once upon a time, a King summoned all the wise men in his kingdom to craft him a magic ring so that whenever he feels sad, he can use it’s powers to feel happy again. The wise men debated among themselves for a long time before they came to a solution. The next day they presented the king with a ring with the following words inscribed on it: “this too shall pass”.

No matter how rich, successful, beautiful or talented someone is, eventually we all hit a point that feels like the whole universe is against us. Steve Jobs was sacked by the company he founded before he was invited back to develop Ipod, Iphone and Ipad. J.k. Rowling was a single mother one step away from being homeless when she finished the first Harry Potter novel. Even then she was rejected by 12 publishers before the first Harry Potter book was picked up. In times of adversity I find that it useful to remember that we are not defined by our low points but how we respond to it. Note that this is only temporary and you can look at this experience and say proudly “well that was tough but somehow I managed it”.

Get out and meet people. In a tough job market the main way you will get a job is through someone else, and you are likely to meet a boyfriend (though that doesn’t matter so much, better to be with nobody than the wrong person – wait until you meet someone just right and until you do focus on positive connections that are plantonic :)). The are other ways to bring meaning into your life other than romance – think about how. I feel you are sad because you have an idea about what life should be like and are depressed because the should doesn’t match the reality. I think what you need to do is to think about how you can grow meaning and value in your life right now as it is (rather than focusing on the shoulds and how life should be)- think about what is meaningful, exciting and passion inspiring for you.

As an example, right now I am super excited about foraging and growing my own food. I am excited about Buddhism (which gives ton fiddy meaning!), I am excited about yoga. There are many passions you can grow and nourish right now – focus on this, forgetting how things should be and being depressed by the gap and forming connections and you will be much happier :).

Hi miracle88,

Just wanted to say that you’re not alone. I too feel as you have written. Though I say to myself, this will pass, I’m suffering because my sorrows are still as deep as they were 18 months ago and not getting any easier. I am trying to build the resources I need to pick myself up and not get so buried by my emotions and suffering. I’m curious what types of resources you utilize in times of despair… Does remembering your loved ones help? Your strengths and times when you picked yourself up and persevered in the face of challenging situations?

Sending you healing energy and strength.

Leila