Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Life's Chaos
- This topic has 15 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 2 months ago by
XenopusTex.
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January 18, 2017 at 7:06 pm #125668
AnonymousGuestDear Miracle88:
How do we deal with the uncertainty in life, you asked. You have the answer right there: “I see the world through more knowledge”-
It is knowledge, the knowledge that counts. Not just any knowledge. What knowledge were you referring to?
anita
January 19, 2017 at 2:11 pm #125737
Miracle88ParticipantHello Anita,
I was speaking of the the day to day problems and how to come through them.January 19, 2017 at 4:40 pm #125743AnonymousGuestDear Miracle88:
I have two plans regarding my lifetime anxiety:
1. The day to day, one day at a time management.
2. The long term healing. Been healing starting 2011.
Did you attend competent psychotherapy for the day-today management as well as the long term healing from your anxiety?
anita
January 22, 2017 at 5:55 pm #125921Miracle88ParticipantHi Anita,
I have gone to counseling but still suffer. I am unemployed and am still single…so that doesn’t help the situation.January 22, 2017 at 6:30 pm #125925AnonymousGuestDear Miracle88:
You went through lots of relationship and employment difficulties since you were 18, ten years ago, that is, all your adult life so far. How was your childhood like?
anita
January 24, 2017 at 7:27 pm #126091Miracle88ParticipantMy childhood was interesting. I had great family support. However growing up in an Indian Society I felt ostracized by what people would say in judgement. I was constantly judged and sized up. I felt that I was never good enough from the indian perspective. I feel that growing up between two cultures was very challenging.
January 24, 2017 at 7:49 pm #126094AnonymousGuestDear Miracle88:
As a child, how were you ostracized by people outside your family- in school? Playground?
How did your “great family support”- help you against this ostracizing?
anita
January 28, 2017 at 10:52 am #126292Miracle88ParticipantI was bullied in schools. I didn’t have a lot of consistent friendships. I felt lost in this world. I felt very sad all the time. I terrible anxiety and depression.
January 28, 2017 at 11:07 am #126294AnonymousGuestDear Miracle88:
Would you like to share more about it?
anita
January 28, 2017 at 9:27 pm #126311Miracle88ParticipantPutting 18 years in writing is pretty difficult. However, I can say growing in the culture clash was very challenging for me. I felt like I didn’t fit in either society. Always conflicted between two worlds.
January 29, 2017 at 9:19 am #126328AnonymousGuestDear Miracle88:
In a previous post you wrote: “growing up in an Indian Society I felt ostracized by what people would say in judgement. I was constantly judged and sized up.”- what were you ostracized/ judged and sized up for?
“.. I feel that growing up between two cultures was very challenging.”- what two cultures?
anita
January 30, 2017 at 7:40 pm #126425
RebeccaParticipantHi there. I recommend reading the book “When Things Fall Apart” by Pema Chodron. She has a lot of wisdom and advice on embracing life’s chaos. It was actually recommended to me by my therapist. Pema Chodron is an amazing inspiration.
January 31, 2017 at 7:44 pm #126501Miracle88ParticipantRebecca- Thank you! I will read this one.
Anita- Indian and American culturesFebruary 1, 2017 at 7:11 am #126529AnonymousGuestDear Miracle88:
It could be very helpful to you if a person of the Indian and American culture, with that specific experience, and who has gained wisdom, would reply to you.
I re-read your posts on this thread. You wrote: ” I felt ostracized by what people would say in judgement. I was constantly judged and sized up. I felt that I was never good enough.”
I do have a lot of experience, unfortunately, with being ostracized and negatively judged. I too felt like I was never good enough. And I too, had trouble with employment and relationships through my adulthood.
I have found out that being negatively judged, criticized and put down by others is a very common experience for many children. As we are ostracized and judged as children, we begin to ostracize and judge ourselves. There is a voice in our heads doing what others have done to us.
The bullies who bullied you in school- they have a mental representative who continues their work in your brain. I call it the “inner bully.” Its common term is the “inner critic”.
There are ways to deal, manage and shrink that “inner bully.” It starts with noticing what it is that it tells you. In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), you learn to challenge it for truth- is what it says true or false? By practicing Mindfulness you learn to notice the thoughts (what the inner critic says) and the distress that accompanies these thoughts, and you learn to calm yourself, to … regulate your emotions, to no longer be taken by them in a storm, but to be in control as much as is possible for you.
Hope you post again.
anita
February 5, 2017 at 9:49 pm #126859
XenopusTexParticipantAh… Chaos. *queues up an Exterminatus on the Chaos infested area* (WH40K).
Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way in real life in dealing with Chaos. Employment is more about figuring out what you want to do. I remember sitting in the office of the Dean of the School of Law at The University of Florida (tier 1 school) and having him pretty much tell me that there was no place in law for a molecular biologist.
Simple truth… everybody attempts to measure you up. Whether for dating, hiring, or even determining if they can beat the hell out of you and steal your stuff.
Anita is right that mindfulness is a great thing. Never mastered that outside of the firing range though, where concentration and focus are absolutely necessary.
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