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Life in a tailspin, confused, double minded enabler needs advise

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  • #45656
    Al
    Participant

    Definitely take a step back. In fact, inform all those close to you that you need time to think, and breathe. Do not feel guilt in temporarily leaving them. Your life is just as important as theirs and if you wish to help those around you out of love then you must first take care of yourself.

    Here is a link to one of my favorite sites: zenhabits.net. If you scroll down and hover your pointer near the bottom a link to ‘See All Posts’ will appear. Do not neglect anything on that site that may help you. As the title implies, it is a site that will help you find your inner peace. It should provide much needed comfort but only if you practice them.

    As I’ve stated in other posts, never look for instant results. This is mistake #1 that many people make. Helping those around you will take time. Your behavior/actions/responses towards are your main factors. Having identified and accepted a destructive nature, however, is a great start. If you wish to make conscientious decisions then you must overcome your ‘enabler’ mentality. Never fear saying no. Also, practice saying it. And when you do, stand your ground. When confronted, ask yourself if saying no will critically harm that person’s life. This should help.

    Lastly, I highly suggest learning about Karma. Beyond what is portrayed in mainstream media is a much more detailed and involved account. Do keep in mind that Karma is a constant practice but one who’s worth extends its training.

    So please, do give yourself some time. Your own ‘want’ of wanting a better life will give you the strength needed to get through this. Recall it each time you falter and you’ll come out okay. Best of luck to you.

    #45849
    JoJOe
    Participant

    Read “Co-Dependence No More” best read you’ll ever have.
    Go to Co-Dependent groups. They’re everywhere.
    You have to take back you life, but it’s a slow process.
    But you can do it.
    Do not demand or ask anything of her.
    If you’re a workaholic, great for now, stick with work while you work this out.
    If she causes any “legal” trouble let her go through the authorities.
    Also be careful “legally” what “common law marriage” is in your town.
    Here it’s 3 months. Then either of you can sue each other for 1/2 of everything.
    And I mean EVERYTHING!

    #45850
    JoJOe
    Participant

    Bonne chance

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