Definitely take a step back. In fact, inform all those close to you that you need time to think, and breathe. Do not feel guilt in temporarily leaving them. Your life is just as important as theirs and if you wish to help those around you out of love then you must first take care of yourself.

Here is a link to one of my favorite sites: zenhabits.net. If you scroll down and hover your pointer near the bottom a link to ‘See All Posts’ will appear. Do not neglect anything on that site that may help you. As the title implies, it is a site that will help you find your inner peace. It should provide much needed comfort but only if you practice them.

As I’ve stated in other posts, never look for instant results. This is mistake #1 that many people make. Helping those around you will take time. Your behavior/actions/responses towards are your main factors. Having identified and accepted a destructive nature, however, is a great start. If you wish to make conscientious decisions then you must overcome your ‘enabler’ mentality. Never fear saying no. Also, practice saying it. And when you do, stand your ground. When confronted, ask yourself if saying no will critically harm that person’s life. This should help.

Lastly, I highly suggest learning about Karma. Beyond what is portrayed in mainstream media is a much more detailed and involved account. Do keep in mind that Karma is a constant practice but one who’s worth extends its training.

So please, do give yourself some time. Your own ‘want’ of wanting a better life will give you the strength needed to get through this. Recall it each time you falter and you’ll come out okay. Best of luck to you.

Bonne chance