* Correction: do you think it is relevant for me to know the specifics of what you did wrong to others?
anita

Hi Chris,

“I’ve heard from my therapists (yeah, multiple. LOL) that “You just need to let these things go.” Only one tiny little problem with that. How? How do you let go of something you’ve held onto for so long, so tightly that you can’t even begin to understand HOW to let it go. “You just do it.” Whatever. In my case it really is like teaching a child how to tie their shoes by saying “You just tie them.”
This is exactly what I’m upto. To share something on the “how” part. If you look at my profile’s biographical intro and it talks about the same…

Comforting anyone with words do produce a healing effect, but I believe that doing a practical healing technique has greater effect than words like “just let it go, don’t worry, everything will be alright, just relax, quiet the mind”. The problem with this is simply saying to “let it go” won’t work in the long run. One must be guided “how to let it go”. The important part is the “how”. “How to let go”, “how to relax”, “how to quieten the mind”, “how to stop worrying and start living” and so on.
This is where various Life Healing Techniques come into play and are useful in having a greater and lasting effect, because they are something practical in nature.

I am going to share with you one such Healing Technique relevant to your situation. It’s called ‘The Release Technique’.
It’s neither a good idea to express any unwanted or negative emotions (because this becomes venting),
nor even to suppress them (because this bottles up),
but to release them.

I have learned the technique from this book after I read “Learn to “let go” of any negativity…in seconds!” on the cover
(https://www.amazon.com/Abundance-Book-Lawrence-Crane/dp/0971175500)
Go through the book description on the above link starting from “This exciting book will help you:” and if you feel it resonates with you then you may give it a try. You may also want to go through the ‘About the Author’ section under Editorial reviews.

But if you do not have the time and/or patience and are fine to go with something paid for faster access then this is their official website (http://www.releasetechnique.com) where you will find more things about the technique like – live classes, events, programs, CDs, digital downloads, online courses, etc.

I did not take any of their programs but at the end of the book I purchased there was a coupon which allowed me to attend their LIVE Coaching class for FREE every Wednesday and this was undertaken by the author of the book – Lawrence Crane. I am sure this is still there but if you intend to then you can confirm with their customer care before buying the book.

From what you have described, its a good resource on the naughty knots like fear, shame, hatred, pain and guilt.

From my information there is also a similar tool called as ‘The Sedona Method’, although I am familiar with the technique, but since I haven’t practiced it much, I won’t be able to tell you more on it.

Before ending you may want to take a look at this review (http://mindtoolsreview.com/the-release-technique-review/). That’s all I can share on the letting go process.

If you ever happen to choose to do the Release Technique and are in case of any doubts then I will try my best to assist in whatever way I can.

Happy Releasing,
VJ

• This reply was modified 8 years, 4 months ago by VJ.

I am consumed with guilt and shame I have made some very bad decisions that has caused my whole life to fall apart I know that I cannot begin to repair or find A New Path without getting over the guilt and the shame I have suffered with depression and anxiety and isolation for most of my life I am holding on by my fingertips trying to remind myself one step at a time but the shame and guilt consumes me

It just occurred to me that my problem may be that I don’t understand the concept of “letting it go”. LOL

If you figure it out and could bottle it you would be a rich man.

What does Letting go mean and what would it look like. I ask myself those question daily.
Would it be forgetting? Sometimes I wish it was and that I’d wake up one day and magically be a different me which is really a wish to be someone other then me.

Sometimes I wonder if perhaps in that moment between sleep and waking as consciousness of the sense of ‘I’ returns and we dress our ‘selves’ in our personas, expectations, fears, dreams… that I might just let go of the past and dress differently… but I don’t. Or if I do it’s in small ways.

How do I let go of the past? You don’t its past, you can’t undo it, you can’t step in the same river twice, there is nothing to hold onto.

What are your holding on to? Memory. Recalling a memory of the past is always the present

How do I let go of memory? Many people try to forget… drinking, drugs, sex….. but that method is not recommend.

How to come to terms with memory? Acceptance.

Each experience, those you might label as being bad or good has brought you to this point in space and time. You survived you are here. You are not living in denial, you made mistakes, you also had successes. Others have influenced you and you have influenced others some in ways you judge in positive ways some in negative. Good and bad both have pushed you into becoming.

Perhaps you begin to see that you are more than the sum of the memories you have of your experience and how you label them, just as others are more. Perhaps acceptance and letting go is being open to learning so that as you learn better you do better. What more can we ask of anyone? Of ourselves? Perhaps that is how we love ourselves and loving ourselves others. Maybe that is a place to start (and end)

Ravens sit on Odin’s/SELF shoulders. One is called ‘Thought’ the other is called ‘Memory’
Ravens are tricksters and co-creators of the world. We create our world though or thoughts and our Memories. Words and Memories Tricksters.

The universe/god/nature/life/SELF… demands growth and the Trickster plays the role of shaking things up, things are not as they seem, illusions, the mother bird that pushes chicks out of the nest.

Consciousness is limited in what it sees. To function the ‘I’ discards millions of bits of information every second to focus on just a few. Yet we assume that our memory of an experience is exactly as it was, even the why of others peoples intentions, and then use those memories to create the stories we live.

Accepting that we cannot know all the facts about why and how what happened a window opens to forgive ourselves when we got it wrong.

Perhaps forgiveness is letting go? Not a forgetting but a honest yes to what happened and how our experiences have influenced us, moving forward, learning better so we might do better and then the grace to allow others the same.

Recommend the book ‘When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships” by David Richo