Dear Kelly:

You wrote: “from day one I have been up-front and honest with what I come to the table with. To provide someone the opportunity to  opt out before we both get too far in”- that was honest  on your part, and considerate.

Problem is in this  context of a beginning relationship, it takes a long time to figure out things. If you told him, for example (and this is only an example), that you have a problem being quick to anger, he may think that he will be able to handle it because he is infatuated with you and he figures you being honest about it, means you are open to change.

Later, after many of your angry outbursts,  he gets tired, worn out and his infatuation weakens and disappears. It doesn’t happen in one day, he struggles through time and finally breaks up. It seems like it happened suddenly, “out of the blue” but not so. Maybe this is relevant to your relationship and breakup, maybe not.

Regarding the hiking challenge, I think you will have to focus, once there, on the challenge itself and so, you will forget about him, focusing on those five summits!

anita

You are welcome, Kelly. Hope to read from you again.

anita