Hi Christine,

I’ll try and address your three ending points, as best as I can.

As for the first point, well, I think it’s best you try and move on, if he’s made it explicit he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. You admitted it is only temporary. I’d cash in your chips, as hard as it’s going to be, and learn everything positive and negative that you can, and glean as much insight as you can from the experience.

Maybe it isn’t too late for you to find a place near your old job that you can rent. It is only the end of March, after all. I think you still have time to either go with the plan you feel is your best option, but you also have time to explore alternatives.

While I think it’s important to be able to confront emotional triggers, be they people or places, if you’re so uncomfortable about doing so now, I’d advise you try and avoid them until you’re ready to encounter them. Maybe try imagining, to the best of your ability, what life would honestly look like in these emotionally triggering environments, and whether four months in these areas will be as difficult as you suspect they will be. In fact, they may not be. You may be much more tolerant of them than you believe yourself to be. Don’t underestimate yourself.

You sound like a pretty tough cookie, to be quite honest. Moving is stressful, the relationship with your mother has obviously been difficult for you, and school and other relationships are also very difficult to manage properly. Then to deal with all of this all at once? That’s hard, like seriously tough. But you’re doing it. You may not be very efficient at managing these things, at the moment, but you will develop. Make a list of priorities, from most pertinent and immediate to the relatively irrelevant and that which you can put off for a while. From your post, I’d say getting a handle on your temporary living situation should be the highest on your list; at least, it should be way up there.

Have you talked about all of this with your new bestie? Is she supportive and insightful? She can probably provide you with much better advice than I’m capable of, at the moment, because she knows you and your possibilities much better than I do. At any rate, I hope something I’ve said might be helpful to you. Good luck with everything.

Dear Christine:

I hope the member who answered you will be back to your thread (your last reply did not reflect under Topics, so he may not be aware that you replied).

A pleasure reading your last post. Reads to me like a good choice- changes are difficult, especially for an anxious person, and so, it is better to not change everything at once, but keep some things the same. In this case, you keep the location the same, the proximity to your friend the same. Excellent.

anita