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Lack of career path, help!

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • #95248
    liv
    Participant

    Hi! I’m 27 years old. I graduated from college when I was 21. I came from a country where you finish a undergraduate degree at 20 or 21. I got my license as a professional 6 months after graduation. Then, I started working at the leading firm in our country. I don’t think I have the guts to disclose what I do since I’m really paranoid and this is my first time posting in here after so many years of reading Tinynuddha, I hope that’s okey. After 2 years at the firm, I resigned for a lot of reasons. Then I became a hermit after for 4 years. My family got me professional help Jan 2015 and I was able to go back to work May of 2015. I was diagnosed of major depression. I’m still practicing my profession but I took on another field. However, December 2015, I crashed and decided to quit my job because it was making me even more depressed. I stopped taking my meds at that month because my job demanded me to sleep less than normal but my meds make me sleepy.

    I am turning 28 next month and I’m still a mess. It has been 7 years from college and I never achieved the success my younger self thought she’d have. Nevermind if I wasn’t successful, but neither do I have a solid career path that I could purse. I hate my job. I hate the long hours. I hate the pressure. I hate the gazillion of paperworks involved. I’m not good at what I do either. And even if I was, I hate the chaos it involves.

    I’m not good at anything either. I checked if I could go back to school. But then, I couldn’t afford to pay for another degree. I have an almost empty bank account. And if I pursue what I really wanted now, I’m too old to start all over again considering that people get out of college at 21 in here. Job opportunities will definitely bbe scarce. And I’m also scared that I won’t be good at it. What do I do?

    I took my first degree because accdg. to my family, it’s the practical choice. The job opporunities will be plentiful and would pay.

    Despite my huge employment gap, my current job could pay for rent, food and some wants and a bit of savings. But it’s driving me crazy and it’s not worth it.

    I have to start job hunting soon. I quit the first field I took and I’m not going back ever to try it again. I’m also not trying the current field I’m in right now ever. I’m only left with teaching or banking. I’m not passionate over teaching. And I’m not sure banking would make me happy.

    I’m miserable. I’m seeing a psychiatrist and a psychologist right now but I could use some help. I know I haven’t given a lot of information but what should I do? I have to have a job but I’m not happy with my profession.

    Liv

    #95249
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Liv:

    Take a break for a day. A break not only from being employed (as you are not employed currently), but also a break from looking for a job and from thinking about what job to choose, if and what additional degree to pursue… a day, one day, starting with one hour free of any and all thoughts regarding work, professional life, income, bills and such.

    One day, starting with one hour, free of all those thoughts and that fear that all these thoughts are soaked in.

    If you take this moment, as you read this, as this break you so desperately need, imagining you will never HAVE TO think about those things again, what would your life be like? How do you imagine you would be like and how would your day or evening or night be like right now? What would you be doing? Describe it for me, if you will, like a scene from a movie, so I can “see” it…

    anita

    #95252
    nick
    Participant

    Hey Liv,

    I, too, have been diagnosed with depression and have been on medication going on 15 years. While I never became a recluse, work was tremendously difficult.

    I can strongly relate to the degree discourse as well, and maybe this will help. I received not one, but two graduate degrees thinking that was all I needed to become content and make myself more fulfilled – it never happened – instead, I ended up with more debt and two additional degrees that serve little purpose other than they look good on a resume.

    The truth that I’m still dealing with is this: fulfillment and contentment can only come from inside you. It doesn’t matter your circumstances, nor events as they unfold in your life. Some of the greatest leaders and peacekeepers ever – Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Mandela – dealt with tragedy after tragedy until they died. Yet, they had that elusive “inner peace” that few ever attain…I’ve made it my goal to try.

    Also, Anita posted a beautifully insightful comment, above. Read that too.

    Grace and Peace.

    Nick

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 10 months ago by nick.
    #95254
    Anonymous
    Guest

    * Thank you, nick!

    #95372
    Matty
    Participant

    Hi Liv,

    As both Anita and Nick have excellently stated above, contentment comes from within and taking time to view your current situation from afar would certainly provide time to reflect. Simply saying your not good at anything, is just putting yourself down, if you believe you can’t do anything, you can’t expect to accomplish anything either. That’s a one way road. Accept that you struggle doing things, but don’t let that be your crutch. This scenario is no different to being afraid of the dark and just putting a blanket over your head, it’s still dark outside, the blanket hasn’t ended you fear. The blanket is just a distraction from confronting the dark itself. It is of course, sometimes great to be distracted from everyday obstacles, but at some point or another you have to address the overall question. Why am i afraid of the dark? In your case, beside the superficial reasons (paper work, colleagues, job opportunities etc.) why do you truly dislike what you do? Why does it have this effect on you? It make take a while to figure out these reasons, or even figure out the right questions; so consider this another chapter in this journey called life.

    As i have discovered, age is a number, age doesn’t equate to worth or maturity and clarity of decision. I have met many 30 + year old’s who act like children. We are raised to believe adulthood brings us some sort of clarity, respect because we got older, not because age makes us wiser necessarily. I think it makes everything a little more hazy. We have so many responsibilities, for ourselves and for others.

    Try not to see your degree as a one way shot into a job. Many jobs nowadays are multifaceted and require more than just a straight degree in a practical area. Maybe look for work in fields that could utilize the skills you have gained from other jobs. You will have transferable skills, skills which go over and stick with you for ever. I used to work in hospitality and now attend university, studying linguistics, i’m 25 years old, and on the superficial level nothing transfers. How is baking going to make studying languages easier? 🙂 My work ethic, time management, attitude, ability to work under stress, all came from hospitality. Don’t look at ‘paper’ skills, look at the ‘personal’ skills you have developed. Whenever you start a new job there is a learning curve, in fact, some occupations will re-train you anyway because university/ college are horrible at educating graduates with life skills. Also don’t just look at college as a pre-requisite to get into employment, opportunities exist, no matter how bad things get, there is always something out there. Maybe take jobs that are easier, casual positions, part-time, because they will be just that ‘a job’. It may give you time to think about your next move.

    I hope this helped, i wish you the best, but know that others have come before with the same issues and problems. You are never alone.

    #95570
    Nancy Fairbrother
    Participant

    Dear Liv, many good suggestions in these replies. I will add some of my own that have helped me out of depression. I know it seems impossible to make the effort to change your thinking when you are depressed, but all it takes is a decision to get started, and change only comes from within as others in this forum have said. “Whatever your mind can conceive and believe the mind can achieve regardless of how many times you may have failed in the past,” said Napoleon Hill many decades ago. It sounds almost trite, but it works. I suggest you begin with thoughts and ideas that uplift you, and take time to enjoy doing things that make you happy (or used to make you happy). You don’t have to work at this – just spend some time each day focusing on the positive. Have you thought of trying self-help? There are so many great self-help processes available today that you are bound to find some that are just right for you. Look on Amazon for self-help books and videos. Google Mike Dooley, who has a wonderful message about creating the life you want while enjoying the process. Marci Shimoff and Morty Lefkoe are other good self-help sources to start with. Allow sound to heal you. Listen to music that soothes and uplifts your spirit. All these actions and more have helped me out of the dark days of depression. I hope some of these ideas will help start you on the road to discovering your own magnificence.

    #96253
    Sarah
    Participant

    Hi,
    Everyone here has given good ideas for recovering from depression.
    I would also like to suggest you something. What I feel is that all you need is motivation in your career.There is an online course that can help you become your best self in both career and personal. here check this out https://www.classle.net/#!/online/course/life-coaching-becoming-your-best-self/coursehome/
    It’s an online course on “Life Coaching – Becoming your Best Self”. Trying joining the course and learning it. It has some really good thoughts and motivational talks. I guess the course starts from Feb 26th so register soon. Hope this helps for you.
    Have a happy life.

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