Hello RT Pat,

Oh wow. This sounds like a whole lot of drama no one needs! Friends should never try to ruin something that fills you with happiness and makes your life positive. Friends should be supportive always, and I can guarantee that if I ever had a friend talk badly about me to the person I wanted to be with, she’d be out the door so fast! Friends should always make you feel good and you shouldn’t have to win their friendship. The only time you can intervene on a situation is if it is actually truly hurting someone (physically, mentally, emotionally) to a point where it is detrimental to that life. If it isn’t, and it’s something that makes someone happy, excited, joyous about life – then a friend would never try to make that different for you. What she did was not out of a place of concern for you. It was sneaky. And deliberately hurtful. The people you should surround yourself with should be people who are positive and enrich your life in all aspects. I understand friendships can go through bumps in the road, just like any relationship. But if you ask yourself if this situation made things better, stronger, took you to a positive place – and the answer is no – it may be time to do a little spring cleaning in that area of your life. Take your life and whom you share it with to a better place; one beyond negative attitudes and toxic behaviour. Maybe your friend will be able to make a positive change for herself, but in the meantime until that happens, I think you could have many more enriching relationships than one that is a source of worry/stress. I hope you find a happy solution:)