I think you have answered your own question here. If you know you can not be what this person deserves in their life, and you both are unhappy, then maybe its time to let it go. Im a big fan of staying and making it work, if you truly believe the end result will be a healthier happier relationship. However both people have to really want that. When one person is checked out, its a long uphill battle to get them reinvested in something they dont see gains on anymore. Usually its a decision they are going to have to come to for themselves, little you do will play into their decision. That is from my experience, and not said to discourage you. If you are in a place emotionally, and mentally where you admit you have some work on yourself to do. I suggest you simply tell him that. If you truly love this person, then you will want him to have a happy fulfilling life. Even if that means one without you in it for now. No matter what you decide proceed with dignity and respect for yourself and him. I have all the respect and understanding in the world for relationships that are just bad situation. Relationships work or dont work based on three things, timing, opportunity and choices. If all 3 dont line up correctly, its more than likely not going to work out. However do not consider it a failure but maybe more of just a learning lesson that needed to happen.

It seems this experience has brought to light some things about yourself you identified as obstacles, and some things you need to work on improving. That is really great! So communicate with him whats going on, and seek his imput on a solution. This isnt your choice to make alone. Value his input as a member of yalls team. Move forward together be it in a relationship or parting ways. If you leave it mutual, and for the better, the door may close but you allow the window to stay open down the road. I really believe its hard to work on oneself in a relationship without a supportive and patient partner.

The last thing you want is to react knee-jerk and extricate yourself out of the relationship in away that leaves him feeling worse than he does right now. If you accept this is about you, you bear the responsibility to own what is occurring and how its affecting your relationship. Be patient and understanding with yourself, and patient and understanding with him. Here’s hoping for the best, be it with him or without. Ultimately you will never be better for him until you are better for yourself.