I’ve been lazy my whole life. I never had any motivation, no drive, no goals, no dreams, nothing. I hated school, and I complained about work. I HATED working. The be blunt, I was garbage. So much so, that the love of my life left me. Now, she has this image of me laying in bed when she comes home from a hard day at work. This breakup has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to endure. I miss her so much. I’d do anything to have her back. But I screwed it up. I took her for granted, and I didn’t even know it. I didn’t even mean to. She was amazing, and I messed it all up. We’ve known each other for 7 years. 7 years of being best friends, and then a relationship that lasted over a year. Now, we barely talk. It positively sucks, and knowing I’m a big reason for that destroys me. I want to tell her how much I’ve changed. I’ve applied for college, I’ve been looking for a better job. I’m literally not the same person. I’ve even been trying to get in shape. But I know that won’t get me anywhere. It’ll just make me look weak. I’ve just never been this much in love before, so I don’t know how to handle this. I’m trying so hard to get ahead in life, to get to where I need to be, and be the person I’m supposed to be, but I feel like I’m not making much progress. I’m also trying to get over her, but she means everything to me…I just feel like I’m at a loss. I love this girl with all my heart, and I’m not just doing everything that I’m doing for me, but also for her, to show her that I WILL become a better person. She always said that she believed I could do something with myself. It just made her mad that I didn’t do anything. I’m tryin to change all of that, but it’d be even better if she were by my side through all of this…I don’t know. I’m just rambling. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.