Joey,

I’m sorry to hear about the heartbreak. We’ve all been there, somewhat, and it’s really hard.

Even though it feels like the only thing that will make you feel better is this girl coming back into your life, that’s actually not true. I know we’ve all heard the trite “no one can love you until you love yourself” line, and I roll my eyes as I read that too, but…it’s kind of true.

Our happiness comes from inside of us, we just let other people give us the permission to feel it. Other people “allow” us to feel love, feel good about ourselves, feel purpose, etc. And other people really matter, a lot, and love is wonderful. But sometimes the people that enter and exit our lives are more like teachers and mirrors- showing us what we need to learn, what we need to fix, who we want to become.

Sometimes we learn that with them in our lives, sometimes we learn it because they leave.

It sounds like you are a pretty harsh judge of who you were, and you’re changing. Be kind to yourself, but self-work is AWESOME. Keep doing it, keep inching along, and keep working on yourself…regardless of whether or not she comes back, you will be a better person because of it. You’re already on your way.

Also, I think you should watch this video. Don’t be fooled by the title: it’s about a guy who gets his heartbroken, feels terrible, and then…things change. Also it’s hilarious.

Keep your chin up.