Dear rebuild101:

I can feel your distress in your short post. I is evident and almost tangible. In your therapy, and otherwise, can you learn or practice relaxation, calming yourself… anything from intense aerobic exercise, brisk walk outdoors, maybe to hot baths, to slow yoga, meditation… some physical/ mental relaxation that you desperately need?

From a calmer place, i would proceed. The two of you have been quite distressed and I suppose he impulsively told you what he did to relieve himself from his distress, increasing your distress in the process. Not well thought of… acts of desperation, I suppose.

Please calm yourself, get into some calming routine. Staying “in your head” with this distress will not permit effective thinking and problem solving!

anita

Dear rebuild101:

You are welcome, and I do hope you rebuild (your name here) your calm and confidence in your mind and relationship. Once you and him are calm, individually, you can both think clearly, individually and make your communication sensible. Please do post again.

anita