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Jack & Anita / Tiny Buddha

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Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • December 26, 2015 at 6:33 pm #90643
    jock
    Participant

    don’t be put off by Anita and me having an alliance. We are both individuals with unique points of view.
    welcome back who 🙂

    December 26, 2015 at 6:34 pm #90645
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear who:

    It has been an emotional night and day for me, following the latest correspondences between us. I will respond tomorrow when my brain is hopefully rested and fresh.

    anita

    December 26, 2015 at 6:42 pm #90648
    who
    Participant

    The truth is Jack, I am afraid, sad, frustrated, and unsure…wanting to cry but nothing comes out..

    December 26, 2015 at 6:45 pm #90649
    who
    Participant

    To: Anita
    I understand completely! Love you guys and I’m sorry!

    December 26, 2015 at 6:55 pm #90650
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear who:

    Maybe it cannot or should not wait till tomorrow.

    Listen, who: I am for you, not against you. I wish you well, not ill. If it was up to me, you would be feeling really good tonight. All I need from you is to be honest with me here AND ask me whenever you feel that I disregard you or disrespect you, ask what I meant by this or that. Don’t accuse, and lash out in anger, just ask me, check your assumptions about what I meant. I will do the same. We all project inaccurately at times. Let us CHECK with each other the projections we make.

    If you do not lash out in anger at me, accuse me, if you somehow take the leap of faith and TRUST me to have your well being in my mind, then we can maybe help each other. This is my intent, my desire, to help you, somehow, if only a bit.

    Can you trust me, can you promise to ASK before accusing?

    Can you share, when you feel hurt about being hurt instead of going to ANGRY first? Can you share from hurt, not from anger, with me? Now, if it suits you.

    anita

    December 26, 2015 at 8:23 pm #90652
    jock
    Participant

    Most things are down to communication skill, not what we say but how we say it

    December 26, 2015 at 8:29 pm #90653
    jock
    Participant

    The truth is Jack, I am afraid, sad, frustrated, and unsure…wanting to cry but nothing comes out..

    Communicate like this and you will get universal empathy in my view. Learning how to express the pain within, will connect you to the human race. We all long for connection. How many of us have felt exactly the same as this!
    I treat this forum as a chance to improve my writing skills, process my thinking and emotions and learn how to connect better. It’s not how many replies you get, but the quality of the replies. I’m biased because I think Anita is usually right on track. You won’t get much better on any forum in my opinion.

    December 27, 2015 at 9:30 am #90668
    Anonymous
    Guest

    * Dear Jack: I like your posts of late very much, insight, wisdom. i don’t comment on each one but I read them all. I am authentically impressed! Soon to leave for the big bad city, Seattle. Be back in the evening, I hope you are having a good evening/ night.

    Dear who:

    Take your time. Remember the first incident we had? When I was wondering if you were lying to me? It occurred to me that you might have because you shared earlier that you were a habitual liar. Pay attention to this, who: it is okay for me to have wondered if you were lying to me. Because you shared that you did regularly lie. It is not that I was turning what you shared against you. The thing is what you shared, I read. I can’t un-read it and I integrate it into my memory. Then I wonder. So I asked you, I asked you: did you mean what you wrote (or were you lying?) That was a question meant to get information.

    You did eventually answer by saying that when you wrote earlier that you were lying, you meant to people outside this website, people who may think of you as a loser if you tell them you are unemployed and so forth. That was valuable information that clarified to me what you meant by “habitual liar”.

    This is the kind of communication I need from you, I ask, you answer. You ask me, I answer.

    What happened was that you felt attacked. You felt I was calling you a liar. And you felt angry and lashed out in anger at me.

    I hope you see my point. Now, there are people who attacked you, when you were a child, that was the worst for you and very unfortunate. There are still people who will attack you today. This is reality. Only as in the example I gave you, I did NOT attack you. You only felt attacked, in this case.

    If you understand this and believe me, we can make a go of it. Of communicating here. Maybe over time you will be able to clearly see who attacked you and deserve your anger and who is not attacking you. You can check and find out before responding.

    anita

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