I’m a guy, can completely relate to what you said about online dating, and I’ll say this from my point of view:

At any point did the two of you talk about “pet peeves” or things that are important to you? It sounds like communication if pretty important to you. Have you ever conveyed that to him?

With the fries story… I can imagine I’ve probably been guilty of something like that at some point. It could be it didn’t occur to him that you were inferring you might like some of his food. We’re guys. We’re inherently dumb and not all that perceptive.

IMO, it sort of sounds to me like you’re settling with this guy/relationship. Speaking from (plenty of) experience, don’t do that. Life is too short. If you want a guy who is more on the romantic side then decide that and by some means (in your profile, on the first date, etc) convey that.

Anyways, I wish you luck. 🙂

Dear dreaming,

1. If your gut tells you something is not quite right, and the fact that you are posting this thread, you should not ignore that. Even if the logical wording of the facts is not available yet.

2. Please don’t get caught in the nice feeling you had from a guy asking if he could introduce you as his girlfriend. Out of context, such a gesture itself is indeed very sweet. But if the rest of your interactions are what you describe, it is like stealing. It is like, “Can I consider you mine without me putting the effort to earn my place in your life and win your trust”. In order to establish healthy relationships we need to test our interactions over time and we do owe it to the other person to earn our place in people’s lives. This is a two way street. Would he be there for you if you need someone to accompany you to the doctor? Would he pick you up if the weather is bad? Would he defend you and your choices in front of other people or would he side with them instead? Would he do these things willingly when you ask him properly, without having to beg him or him being annoyed?

3. Please don’t listen to media and cosmopolitan psychologists that expecting romance is a childish fantasy induced from Disney cartoons. Of course that every healthy woman expects to be treated the best way. It may not be in the material form of white horses, knights and diamond necklaces, these are metaphors. But the attitude matters, and it should definitely be present in your interactions in the way it is relevant to your life values. Desolate is very right here.
VJ said
True love is not about “wanting” the other person to behave in a particular way, but it is about “allowing” the other person to just BE.

This doesn’t mean that you are obliged to love anyone the way he is, you have the free will to choose who you want to be with. Who we are is defined by what we do and how we treat people. So choose who you want to have in your life.

The early stages of your relationships the critical time to make clear what are each one of you’s expectations. As you should allow someone to BE you should also consider, can you be completely and freely Yourself in a relationship, or you constantly have to adjust your expectations when something goes wrong? If in the early stages you are talking about adjusting your expectations, what else would you be talking about in a mature relationship? Can you both work these things through?

As for other unfinished business with your ex or other significant people in our lives… whether we like it or not, these things will always be part of us. And everyone without exception enters in a relationship with that baggage, pretending it isn’t there is not realistic and bounces back eventually in unexpected ways.

Aren’t relationships supposed to be based on friendship as well? Having a counselor is a good thins and especially advisable if needed. But since when discussing such things with your significant other is a bad thing? If done properly, this can 1. solidify your friendship and is part of you two knowing each other 2. make each other the favor of knowing exactly where each one of you is standing on with their readiness for commitment.

There is right and wrong ways to do every single thing in this life so of course if talking about another person unnecessarily and in a way that it hurts the other is also a bad sign. There are people who just like hurting other people. Words and actions are like knives with a good and a bad side which the mind cannot differentiate. This is why we feel with our heart.

There was a book by Barbara de Angelis I read several years ago which I found useful at the time. Are you the right one for me, I think.

Being happy is more important than being right. Only good people are capable of being truly happy.
I wish you find your happiness.