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Is waiting wise?

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Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
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  • October 30, 2013 at 2:39 am #44565
    Kistina
    Participant

    I got into a relationship with someone that I knew was going into the military, a life long career of it. I fell deeply in love and I honestly believe that he did too. He broke up with me a couple of weeks ago for the sole reason that he’s leaving soon. I’m hurting right now, but I’m ok with being single as I do love myself, but in my heart of hearts I want to share my life with him. Am I silly to hold onto a dream that may or may not come true years down the road?

    October 30, 2013 at 5:23 pm #44650
    Matt
    Participant

    Kistina,

    Without knowing him or his intentions, it is difficult to say. He did break up with you, which isn’t a great sign for the relationship. Sometimes we can dream so powerfully that we ignore the path in front of us, and who knows how much you might love someone else? Either way, when a relationship ends, it is important that we let ourselves grieve its passing. Even if you meet up with him sometime down the line, he won’t be the same man, and you won’t be the same woman. Namaste.

    With warmth,
    Matt

    October 30, 2013 at 9:51 pm #44653
    Macintosh
    Participant

    So his reason for ending it was because he’s going away? How long were you two together? It could be he felt like he couldn’t bear the pressure of you worrying while he is deployed. Tell him how you feel before he goes away, or did you already tell him that? I don’t know enough detail of your situation to say much more, but how did it end? Meaning, was it a fair ending.

    November 6, 2013 at 8:25 am #44902
    Kistina
    Participant

    We were together a little over a year. I know that he is grieving as well. I sent him an email telling him how I feel, he says that he did see us as a family and then changed the subject to how he has online learning things he has to get done before he leaves and I’m busy at school and taking care of my children and that is why he’s ending it now. Because we’re too busy. My 16 yr old daughter talked to him about seeing me until he leaves, but he said he couldn’t do that to me.

    My thinking is I would rather have these 3 months of seeing each other when we can as opposed to knowing it’s possible and choosing not to. So, I don’t understand the “do that to her” part.

    November 13, 2013 at 11:19 pm #45290
    Macintosh
    Participant

    Maybe it ended this way so his head would be clear and ready for when he is deployed. I know it sucks for you, and it is painful that he decided to handle the break up this way, instead of spending more time with you. Try putting yourself in his shoes, maybe it’ll help you understand his frame of mind? He does seem like a nice man and doesn’t want to be mean and intentionally hurt you. What he told your daughter may or may not have been true, as he isn’t going to tell her it’d be easier on him to end it now rather than the day before he leaves.

    Is he willing to talk a bit more? Help you get some idea if there is a chance in the future? Or when he broke up with you did he mean forever and goodbye, go no contact.

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