Hi Karyn,

Are you able to and would you consider breaking off your current relationship and moving out on your own without the intent on being with the “other man”?  Maybe it would help to focus on yourself right now and getting yourself into a safe, secure space where you can make a decision that’s not tied to someone else’s life or situation.  I bet that there is some peace to be found in taking responsibility for your own happiness and making a decision to make your life better (even if it means disappointing someone else in the process)– it might help bring more clarity for you on both of these relationships.

I hope this helps some!

Amy

Hi Karyn,

To me, it would appear that you are not satisfied in the current relationship and are feeling lonely and unappreciated. The “other man” appears to be a rebound or reliever.

My recommendation would be to have an honest and open conversation with your current man, just like you did about the alcohol. Tell him how you feel in your relationship and what your expectations are. Allow him to open himself up too. If you find that you are not getting what you are expecting in your current relationship, is it really worth staying back? Are you willing to lower your expectations or would you prefer to break up? If you prefer to break up, I would recommend living on your own for a bit, and allowing yourself to heal from the break up first, before moving onto other men.

Best regards,

James