Let me ask you this, what is the purpose of finding the answer to your question? I assigning blame going to change what occured? No, what is done is done. We all make mistakes and maybe the way you were contributed to why you found difficulty making a relationship work. So the real golden nugget in your question is, what was I doing that make a relationship/friendship difficult, and how can I change that and be more compassionate with myself about it. So that it does not continue to interfere with my interpersonal relationships moving forward.

I agree with the last sentence of IJ’s feedback, you have to give to someone what it is you want to receive from them. It all starts and ends within ourselves.

It’s impossible for any of us to give an honest evaluation, as all we have is your description of the events. Also, it’s never quite that simple. It’s not just that you would’ve changed or the people around you would’ve changed, but also your perception might’ve changed. When someone is depressed, they see the world differently from someone who isn’t. Neutral events are interpreted as disasters or failures, whereas someone who is excited about life might interpret them as wonderful occurrences. I have many times myself completely misread a situation (or sometimes even literally misread words) when I have expected something from the situation. I’ve been expecting to be rejected and that’s how I’ve read the situation, even if a person was actually interested in my company.

So there really is no possibility of an objective evaluation. You’re the only one who can get closest to it, but you’ll have to be honest with yourself and stay rather neutral. Using words like “fault” is not neutral.