sorry to hear about all of that. i had depression as a result of my anxiety [and 90% of my problems stemmed from hating my town, my job, and almost every aspect of my life] so i too moved [thankfully things are better with my depression, anxiety is still an occasional struggle] so i know the desire to just start over. thing is, why do you wish to hit the reset? while your first move sounds like a good one, this second move for you sounds more like running away. what do you hate about the person you feel you’re becoming? perhaps sit down with a pen and paper and write out everything you feel you’re becoming, why you don’t want to be like this, and ways you can turn it around. even if you move again, it’s a quick fix, you need to confront the pain.

if you’re not talking to a therapist i highly recommend doing so and they can help you work through your emotions [even if all you wish to do is vent and have someone quietly listen.] journalling, meditation, mindfulness and TinyBuddha all really helped for me. [you could also try affirmations and posting positive quotes around your home] also, healthy eating and exercise can be a great mood booster. the frustration and pain is a tough one to deal with alone, but i journalled and made lists, like what i want to do, where i want to go, who do i admire, what do i want to be, stuff like that along with random quotes, ideas and events. it might help you. good luck.

I want to fast forward…just to see how it all turns out in the end. lol

Dear monsterjules:

I would like to get to know you better. In your original post you wrote: “I have changed now. I am closer today of the person I want to be than 5 years ago…But here I am again. I am not happy with the person I become”

Can you tell me what about you have you been trying to change five years ago?

And who is this person you have become, the person you are not happy with?

In yet other words: what has it been all these years, and what is it about you that needs to be changed?

anita

you enjoy travel? perhaps look into a career that includes travel. writing for a travel magazine for example. i know how hard it is to pinpoint what you want to do when you’re stuck in something you hate, try making a list of things you like and dislike about the job you’re in. also research jobs that require travel [flight attendant, working on a cruise ship] see if any of them interest you, talk to people in that profession, see what types of requirements are needed and give it a try. to quote Up: adventure is out there! i would speak with a professional about your depression, but also try and figure out what work makes you happy.