Dear Annie:

You are welcome, and thank you for expressing your appreciation. These are my thoughts today:

– Regarding your sister (who is even younger than I thought): I had to accept it myself, in my life, that some people simply don’t like me, and there is nothing I can (or should) do about it. It is not more complicated than this example: some people don’t like broccoli and .. there is nothing you can do about it. My favorite dog, Hunter, does not like broccoli. I can put cheese on it, or soak it in meat sauce, but all he will do is eat the cheese off the broccoli, or lick the meat sauce off and spit out the broccoli.

From your descriptions, seems like your sister doesn’t like you. I think that my sister doesn’t like me. She has been nice and polite to me most of the time, but I don’t think she likes me. I can live with the reality that some people like me and some don’t, and those that don’t like me, are likely to continue to not like me. But I can see how it is more difficult for you to live with such a reality because the two of you share the same room. Interesting, how we somehow expect that family will like us, but it ain’t necessarily so.

– Regarding romantic connections where you “confide too much to them and in the end they would say harsh things”- better then to not confide too much. Confide just a bit and wait, check for his reaction: will he say a harsh word to you, or use what you confided in him against you? Or will he say supportive words to you and not betray your confidence? According to his reaction, confide a little bit more, or not. In other words, proceed with caution, don’t rush.

“It’s also hard for me to make friends growing up because I’m painfully awkward socially and I do get social anxiety”- this is why proceeding with caution is a good idea. A scared person should proceed slowly, attentively, cautiously.

“I do journal about it but I guess it still doesn’t replace the feeling of not having someone to empathize with me, like a best friend you know?”- I understand. If you journal here, or continue to post here, I will empathize with you. I am not a person in your real life, but I am very much a real person typing these words. (I do hope you have a best friend and a boyfriend irl sooner than later).

– Regarding pandemic related worries: “I was really hoping and looking forward to learning driving this year, but that would have to be postponed until  later because of quarantine.. I should’ve done it sooner… my work situation is currently unstable.. I’m really worried.. whether I’ll be rehired”-

– we all have to wait and see, survive these especially uncertain times best we can and be stronger for surviving it well, and take it from there. The work experience you had that made you feel pride in yourself, that is not lost, it is only dormant, ready to be awakened when the economy resumes and begins to recover. About not learning to drive earlier- you weren’t able to predict a pandemic, hardly anyone predicted this: it’s been a huge surprise to me and to most people.

anita