Hi ImJWL.

I see you have now created your own post and are getting helpful answers there, which is good.

I think you have actually answered your own questions – you know this guy is using you. Especially as you are probably afraid if you stop having sex you would not see or hear from him again, right? So yeah, time to stand up for yourself and put yourself first. You are going through a tough time with the divorce and it is not unusual to have valued being wanted by this guy. But yeah, seems highly likely it’s going nowhere apart from more hurt and disappointment for you – something you can do without for sure.

You could simply break it off with the guy. Or half-way house, try being unavailable next time you are supposed to meet, keep him waiting. And keep sex off the table – have a proper date. If he’s interested in you at all – you’ll find out pretty quickly. I’m not into game-playing, so I don’t mean like that but by being less available on his terms, you’ll probably get the confirmation you’re looking for to dump him.

You know you deserve better and you will find better. Don’t let your fear of not thinking you will find someone else hold you back. But do look at this as a way of learning why you accepted so little in this relationship and work on your self-esteem, which has probably taken a real battering through your last relationship/divorce, right?

Hope helps – best of luck.

Hmm, I would let her be the one to reach out if I were you, but your choice.

Why do you think you did tell her you couldn’t face her if you understood it would not end well? It will help to understand so you do not do so again.

Only foolish if you don’t learn from it and only foolish if you repeat the same mistake again. Mistakes are just part of being human. No point beating yourself up about them but use them to learn.

Practicing social skills for sure would help you understand others better. It would have helped you to know that breaking your promises to her and talking about heavy emotional topics again was not going to be a good thing. Without understanding why you thought it would help, you can’t learn to avoid such mistakes in the future. If you are honest with yourself, I suspect you really thought that having this conversation would help bring you closer again? If you are not honest with yourself, you will not learn.

It’s easy to be remorseful now because now you can see instead it has made her angry and now you are worried you have ruined the friendship for ever, which is very much a possibility. What you need to do is work out why you broke your promise to not discuss these topics with her. How can she be your friend if she can not trust you to keep your promises?  And no, this isn’t something you should discuss with her or apologise for – that is just breaking your promise again.

To be honest, no, I don’t think it is possible to repair this friendship.

Perhaps, if you are lucky, she will reach out at some point and you can try to be a better friend from there. But if she does not reach out, I would leave her alone.

Morning JHK.

I am not surprised. Yet again you broke your promise and talked to her about your problem instead of dealing with it by yourself.

I actually don’t think she is sulking, I just think she doesn’t want to spend time with you anymore, she no longer wants to be your close friend.  Both her actions and her words are telling you this but I understand you do not want to believe it.

Therefore I don’t think I can help you any more with this. My advice has consistently been to not talk to her about this and you have consistently gone ahead and talked to her about it. My advice now remains the same – leave her alone and think instead about working on yourself. Learn from this as to how to better handle relationships and social interaction. It may be worth finding somebody like a therapist locally who will be able to better help you through this.

I wish you all the best in working through it all. Ofcourse I am still here to listen and help if you choose to work on yourself but I won’t keep having this same conversation with you as it doesn’t help you move on.

Take care.

Apologising is the same thing.   You wrote yourself “She say she is tired of my heavy content nonsense”. This tells you she also took your apology to be more of the same heavy content. Friends do not repeatedly apologise for things already forgiven. There was no need to apologise – you have already done that before. ISo by apologising again t is just another way of still talking on an emotional level.

As said, I wish you well.