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Is it a relationship ? What am I supposed to do? -or not!

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  • February 16, 2020 at 10:48 am #338564
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Pauline:

    I don’t think that he can be in a solid intimate relationship with you even if he wanted to. He is quite aware that he can’t: there is too much trouble in his mind and life circumstances.

    If you can handle being an occasional friend to him, here and there, from time to time, that’s something that he can handle. But if you want a boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship, I don’t think that it is something that he can.

    anita

    February 16, 2020 at 12:00 pm #338578
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi Anita,

    thanks for your answer !

    The only thing is that it doesn’t seems to be what he wants! he told me not wanted to stop anything, and not wanted to be just friends, and by the way he acts, it proves that he want to be more than friends, otherwise he would have stop giving me « cute nicknames » , and kisses etc.
    He could have stop all of this and make me understand it the first time we met since I’m back. I didn’t know how to react when I met him the first time after my return and he is the who hugged me and kissed me like if we only have been separated since two weeks.

    thats why in me head we are « together ». I’m not expecting messages every day, and restaurant and cinema every week end etc absolutely not!
    I want to give him a lot of space and be patient, but present for him.

    but I don’t know « how much » i should be there for him. I don’t know if it makes sense.

     

     

    February 16, 2020 at 12:20 pm #338582
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Pauine:

    He likes you and wants you more than a friend, that is clear. But I don’t think he is able to be in a solid relationship with you as a boyfriend. To put it in another way, he is able to be a friend-with-benefits with you, not a boyfriend. If you are okay with having him as a friend with benefits, meeting occasionally, from time to time, for some “cure nicknames.. kisses etc.”- if that was okay with you, then it would serve you both, I guess.

    But if you want a relationship, you and him together as a couple going about life, making each other better for it- I don’t think it will happen with him, not anytime soon.. maybe far in the future.

    “how much I should be there for him”- not at all, if you want a boyfriend.

    anita

    February 16, 2020 at 12:29 pm #338584
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    It always help to have an exterior point of view,

    thank you Anita !

    February 16, 2020 at 12:33 pm #338588
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You are very welcome, Pauline. Post again anytime.

    anita

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