Home→Forums→Tough Times→Is it a dream or an obsession (negative) ?
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Peace.
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January 1, 2015 at 3:02 pm #70101
YueParticipantHe Decime,
First off, let me say that it’s quite natural to want the things you want being a 20 year old guy (having been one myself). Whether ou will get any joy of these things…well it’s something that you have to find out yourself. One of the common themes I’ve noticed in both your options your focus on the outcome rather than the process (e.g. you enjoy soccer when you score a goal but hate the training). However, to reap the rewards that you crave, you need to be REALLY good at what you do and it is a lot harder to become proficient at something that you are not passionate about. This is because to excel in any field, you are going to hit a lot of walls and if you are not passionate about what you do, you will end up hating it. That’s why successful people are generally those who follow their passion (e.g. Steve Jobs and J.K. Rowling) rather than materialistic gains. Given your age, you still have time to look for what that passion is. Just look out for things that you simply enjoy doing rather than what you get out of it. If it is something that you can make money out of as well? Well that’s probably the career path you want to follow.
January 1, 2015 at 3:22 pm #70103
mesaraParticipantThank you Yue for your response; just to make something clear: I not only enjoy it when scoring – but that is the highest, the climactic feeling of fulfillment… i also like the fact of playing, I’m usually not a goalscorer due to my position; i love assisting others…
but yeah, the problem is that… the training process, getting there, thats what makes me not know if i really wanna it or not, if i really enjoy it or not…
it is a never ending dilemma… and i totally agree and thank you about the: “One of the common themes I’ve noticed in both your options your focus on the outcome rather than the process”
And, well, if i go in the business field and stuff, i might like it, but i don’t think i will be passionate about it, neither about any other educational career…
its just something so confusing
January 1, 2015 at 3:55 pm #70105
PeaceParticipantAt this point in your life do you have to give up academics to get in shape & start playing better soccer? Or do you just have to give up your unfulfilling social activities (weekend drinking w/ friends) and buckle down to get in shape to even get noticed soccer-wise?
Obsessed people & dreamers both can take concrete steps to achieve the end result. Your end result now sounds like money & good looking women. I’m not sure what soccer players make but really there are many paths to girls & money.
As far as the soccer, do you even like to play? I started playing again after 22 yrs. I’m currently 42 and do want to get better as a player so I’ve joined an adult league. I realized I don’t like running just to run, but I like to run in sports as part of the game. I also began coaching. Personally, I find it fulfilling but I do pay to play!
“Ultimately, If I don’t really try (devote myself to it) to become a soccer player i have “thorn in my side”, ”
You’re obsessed with the dream. But you’re young and if you’re willing to work hard for it — go for it.
January 4, 2015 at 1:31 pm #70184mesaraParticipantThank you Stilllearning,
Your words are rich of wisdom…. What I find strange is that I think about playing soccer, I get a strong desire to play soccer when I’m really upset, when I feel depressed, alone, because I feel soccer to be a refuge, but I mean when I’m emotionally really down… crying and stuff… or either when i’m furious about someone or something, or when I’m extremely happy… but otherwise, like on a daily basis I don’t feel any of the aforementioned strong emotions that will “motivate me” to not only play but to enjoy it,when depressed, lets say due to a girl or something like that, i feel it like an escape a refuge… when furious… i go running at 100% and also shooting, and competing with anger like it should be (even when not furious, therefore all the time) or when I’m full of joy for something thats happened in my life I enjoy the game, because its a happy game,like its supposed to be, “the beautiful game” but when I’m not in any of those emotions I just don’t give it all, I can’t give it all for some reason… and I also happened to instead of enjoy it, I’m more stressed out about it…
And yeah, indeed, you are right, its an obsession, but you know… perhaps I could not try to become a professional soccer player and go to a “happy life” but you know…
If i go for the soccer career, i might be less happy, live difficult situations, lots of stress, but at the end, it will bring me satisfaction… something that living just a “happy life” in the ‘market’ won’t bring me…
and I can’t imagine a life without satisfaction, and by satisfaction I mean personal fulfillment, I don’t mean it to be famous and claimed by the crowd… just to feel realized… and even though I might not enjoy many moments when playing soccer, I’m sure it can bring that satisfaction
January 6, 2015 at 8:54 pm #70744PeaceParticipantThere is no job you will like 100%. There will be moments you remind yourself you just have to do something bc you’re a professional. For some it means keeping mum in the boardroom when an idiot starts ranting, for other that means practicing your skills when your emotions are neutral.
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