Dear Jan,

sorry to hear that your first sexual experiences have happened like this. It is for sure that he does not have any true feelings for you and is just using you.

Your experience with boys is minimal (you had not kissed with anyone before him) so now you are in a new situation, starting to have relationships.  You deserve to have a boy in your life, who wants to know you as a person and likes you a lot and you can feel his respect. With this boy everything has gone wrong. I suggest that you stop communicating and seeing him. You deserve so much better than this!

Someone may suggest that you need to think about your childhood and all the ways your parents neglected you and get some therapy. There is no need for that because you are not broken. You are just a girl with little experience from relationships. What you could do is talk with some friends who have experience of loving relationships with boys. Then you realize what kind of indegrienses healthy and loving relationships have. You will be fine! 🙂

• This reply was modified 8 years ago by Susannah.

Dear Jan,

You already know the answer to your question. We feel being used when we are being used. What has happened is happened and is in the past. You can’t change it but you can prevent it from happening again.

Your family should be the one to protect you in these situations. See why your sister is annoyed. Talk to her, aren’t you close with her? tell her you are sorry and you need her help. If you don’t trust family with this information then tell a friend who will understand it. Alone you can’t fight or resist him….if you could this would not have happened in first place.

You need a good company to guide you. Recognise your weakness and you will overcome it. If no one is there for you believe me “I am here, we are here”.

Always use protection. NO matter what.

In the end.. Dear….wait for love…..you will know it when you are loved….and love without sex will ruin it.

Best of luck