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Is breaking up over controlling in-laws the right decision?

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  • October 30, 2022 at 6:47 pm #409368
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Samantha:

    It looks like in between the first paragraph of your original post and the second, there is missing paragraph or two in regard to “that conversation”. Would you like to fill in what’s missing regarding the conversation and what preceded the conversation?

    anita

    October 31, 2022 at 5:44 am #409382
    pink24
    Participant

    Hi Samantha,

    Trust your gut. Run for the hills.

    Your almost fiance showed you what marriage to him would be like – working for him, his parents coming first, etc. He’s not ap0logizing to you because he doesn’t think he did anything wrong.  When someone shows you who they are, believe them!

    Often times we think we found “the right person”. But that’s not enough; it’s called a relationship for a reason. How your partner relates to you, yes, but also how he relates you to the other parts of his life is just as important since that will constitute your married life.

    Find another partner who sees marriage the way you do, which I assume isn’t working for your husband and cow-towing to his parents.

    Good luck!

    Pink

     

     

    October 31, 2022 at 6:47 am #409386
    thosedays
    Participant

    Hi Samantha

    Do you find this phrase fishy?

    “I want you to do what makes you happy”

    It means you can enjoy unearned privilege. When it comes to a nitty gritty relationship, it takes two to tango.

    That phrase sounds to me that he is trying to please you to maintain the relationship. If a relationship is built based on words of promises, instead of knowing each other well, then a sudden change may give you a surprise.

    If he happens to be together again, try to understand him well and see what is his future planning.

    cheers.

    October 31, 2022 at 10:00 am #409397
    pink24
    Participant

    I have to interject here–“doing what makes you happy” is not something fishy. In fact, it is exactly the kind of relationship my parents had, and they both had successful careers and brought up three children.

    I don’t believe we “earn” the right to the follow our purpose in life, and do what makes us  happy. We just have to have the courage to do it. We must also be responsible for the consquences and the hardship that follows, because it is far easier to just do what others want you to do.

    Another perpective, Samantha! Hope this helps!

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