Thank you Anita. Yes the grandchildren are my number one priority. They are the only reason I haven’t just walked away. I’ve decided to have absolutely nothing else to do with his kids. Luckily two of them live out of state. Thank you again for your kind words.

Well good news. My husband has FINALLY confronted 2 of his children so far. I am so happy and proud of him. I just hope this is not a one time thing. Thank you for listening.

My husband’s family….nightmare. The first thing his mother ever said when she met me was that I was heavy with fat thighs, and that she didn’t approve of how I wear jeans and a tshirt most of the time. Also, my hair is a mess. Yet she copped an attitude when I didn’t go out of my way to hang out with her. Why would I? This was 2002. Flash forward a dozen years, and both of my husband’s siblings have disowned her. She sent her dog here to be cared for (I am an animal lover, involved in rescue, she knows I will put aside my feelings for her in that instance). The poor thing was emaciated, had been ill and force fed for six months and never taken to the vet so I came to find out. MIL was off for a tropical cruise and I’m now caring for her sweet dog who I wind up at the vet with, and she is is in full-on end stage kidney failure. Long story short, the kindest thing to do was let the dog go peacefully but the vet needed her permission, and she claimed she couldn’t call while on ship. Well, we let the sweet girl go, at that point, it’s cruel not to, and a text to this evil woman that it had been done and voila! She somehow manages to call. She got a piece of my mind that ended with my telling her she is DEAD TO ME and I hung up. Hub felt the same but within 24 hours he was back kissing her behind like nothing because “she is my mother” he said.

He has allowed her, for years, to both treat me as though I don’t exist, and treat me like I’m a plague on her life. She has gone so far as to conveniently arrange for her friends’ single daughters to visit when he visits – and I don’t go obviously. He says nothing.

We have needed financial help from time to time – I have asked my mom every time. He says his mom doesn’t have it. No, he just won’t ask her. He calls her every Thursday on his way home from work, and NEVER talks to her in front of me. Swears he has asked her for help but not in front of me and he gets ugly when I say that.

If he allows his family to disrespect me, then he is disrespecting me. He doesn’t see this. He doesn’t see that he has, over time, destroyed this marriage. It’s a joke, a farce, paper only. And the reason I can’t leave is because I have severe health issues that prevent me working full time to support myself and my kids.

I live in a daily nightmare.

Dear kylie:

You wrote that you have severe health issues that prevent you working and supporting your children. You mean, otherwise, you would be getting a divorce, correct?

If you got a divorce, wouldn’t he be required to support his/your kids (child support) and you (spousal support)?

anita

Dear kylie:

Re-reading your earlier post here, it seems like your husband took the role of “the good son” while his two siblings cut contact with their mother. So his loyalty is to his mother, showing her that, unlike his siblings, he is a …good boy. And so, he allows her to mistreat you. Am I correct?

Is she, your mother-in-law allowed in your home? Is it possible for you to not see her or talk to her at all?

anita

My husband parents does not like me. They keep tell my husband he just needs to divorce me and find someone else. We have been married for 3 years and have a child. His parents don’t even come down to see their grandchild. I am at my wits I don’t know what else to do. They dont even like my side of the family. And they are always talk bad about me. Like I’m not good enough for him. They say he need to divorce me and find someone else. And he never backs me up on things. I just need help

I am in a similar situation, married for 28 years but mine is much more complex than the stories read here. We went for many counselling sessions….too many to mention and that still did not resolve anything.  I do not know my husband, his deceit and what his upbringing was like because I was always cut short when asked about his life before marriage.  His behaviour  is so far fetched than he cannot differentiate between normal and abnormal behaviour.  He flirts with women all the time and thinks nothing wrong of it.  I have cut all ties with his side of the family and feel so much lighter in my heart.  I have taken my focus off him husband and involved myself with church ministry which is more fulfilling to me.  My husband does not understand boundaries and I assume the same applies to your relationship

It is very sad to see the amount of people in relationships where their inlaws do not like them.

I too is in the same situation. It use to bother me, but I don’t let it bother me any more. I have two small children who are depending on me, so I need to be strong and focus for them.

I have been married to my husband for 5 years. Things began sour for the sole reason I was not a christian and a church goer. My husband was a dedicated member of his church for many years, but ‘backslide’, and it was during this time that I met him. His family took issue with me because I was an outsider. Over time, they started to warm up to me and things began to go well. A few years later, we are back to the beginning, but this it is not only because I am not a christian but also because they consider me controlling. My husband family is very materialistic, hyprocritical, dramatic, bias, and two-face. The entire family is very distant with each other. Anyway, my husband was the go to guy prior to meeting me, for everything; money, time, and assistance….espcially money, and it seemed like he never said ‘no’. Well, he is the sole provider of our home, and with two toddlers, he definitely have different responsibilities and o ligations than when he was single. His family has proven overtime that they do not care about him or his family, because when they waste their money, they want to run to him to bail them out. I told him that can’t work for his new family because we are not rich, so because they can no longer get access to him and his income, I have become their enemy. My husband seems not to do anything about the situation that has transpire between me and his family, he just brush it under the rug, and seems to expect me to be the one to make amence. I have, in the past, got into verbal disagreements with 2 of his sisters, so there is a lot of tension with those two. His mom is the biggest hyprocrite and devil I know, yet she is the first to shout praises to the almight like she is a Godly woman. In the past, every time my husband got paid, she would text him asking for money. Keep in mind she works, her husband works, and her daughter (who lives at home with her son) also works, but my husband, who is the sole provider of our home, she wants him to give her money! There is a lot to be said, but too much to write and explain. Bottom line is, I hate my husband family and keep my distance. Like many others who have commented, I too constantly feels left out during family events, but atleast I don’t have to deal with fake people.