Bottom line: He cannot “give up” his preferences. They are part of who he is. It’s like saying I prefer coffee to tea but will change that preference and start drinking tea. I might be OK with the tea but I will always long for the coffee. (Not the best analogy but you get the idea.)
You are every man’s dream girl! You are not superficial, you do give support, affection but you don’t expect your partner to be your all in all.
Men find that very freeing.
However, it seems as if he feels you aren’t “really” that way. He seems to thing you aren’t “complete” yet. Like a cake not quite finished. Maybe the icing is missing? He loves you but you aren’t extroverted. He wants that, his family wants that.
Scary stuff. You cannot change your basic make up of who you are. You will probably forever feel as if you aren’t quite “measuring up”, if you continue in this relationship.
He has already noticed the problem and attempted to solve it by saying to you that you both should part ways.
He is telling you all the answers… it is just hard to hear sometimes.
NO! You are not being selfish. Or at least not in a bad way. It isn’t selfish to put your self first when it comes to being true to yourself. That is called self-love. And we need more of that in the world!
You sound like an amazing person. You are young, bright, happy. Allow yourself to experience life and find the one who doesn’t want you to change. The one who will beg you to never change a thing about your amazing self!

Dear Subs,

Both of you are surely wonderful people but do you really think its worth it? Changing your basic nature, affecting your career, being away from loved ones all in the name of being with the guy you feel is “the one”? I understand marriage involves compromise but where are the limits? Who decides these limits? Both of you do but are you actually listening to yourself? I have been with someone for about more than half a decade and i was pretty young (too young), did everything i could until i snapped. When i let him go and decided never to look back, i thought i would never find “the one” again.

Now i am with a wonderful man again for the last 1.5 years. I feel like he’s the one but heck, no matter how much i love him, after years of depression and plain foolishness at times, i have concluded – “I love you but i love me more”

He cant complete you, no one can but does that mean you have to revamp your life to complete the relationship? Think about it. All the best dear.

– Moon

From my own experience (I’m 27, divorced at 25), I wouldn’t marry someone (again) if I had any reservations about the relationship or had to make massive sacrifices of myself to be with them. It drained me of so much, emotionally, mentally, physically, financially to always be the one to compromise for someone else’s career/dreams etc. I should have listened to my gut when I had reservations about getting married in the first place, but I guess that’s hindsight for you!

I have been a bit of a similar situation recently with my current relationship- long story short, I moved back to my home state for 8 months to get my head into order and figure out what I wanted from life/my relationship before deciding whether or not to move back to be with him – away from family/friends/my home. I did choose to come back, and am still feeling out the situation, but had to be okay with all aspects of the potential situation (including if we break up – what will I do with myself in a city/state on my own etc.) before I could do it. Our relationship is fortunately stronger than ever (it’s had its bumps though) but the compromise so far seems to be paying off. It was a long process to get to this point though and a lot of communication was needed, and I didn’t want to ‘lose myself’ and what I hold as important, in the process.

I guess I’m just saying – you’re young, you are unsure, don’t rush into something you’re not ready for or certain of. There is no rush, nor should you give up what you hold important to yourself, for someone else. (I think it is impressive that you have a strong sense of self and what you value in yourself and others :)).

Good luck in your decisions.