Dear Romeo:

Of course you don’t feel better, beating yourself up as you have been doing.  How can a person feel better when beaten up, be it by someone else or by our own self?

After you accommodated the rude guy at the gym, practicing empathy or yourself would be to not beat yourself up. Instead, you could say to yourself: this is okay. I understand. It is okay. Next time I will assert myself.

You heal not by being aggressive toward yourself, beating yourself when you are down (you were mistreated by the guy at the gym, felt down over it, and in addition, beat yourself further). You heal by being on your side, by acting for you, not against you.  And by acting, it starts with what you say to yourself.

anita