After almost 8 years of very happy times and 4 years married, the love of my life left me. After we were married, we had a few misunderstandings, ups and downs. Someone from our past came between us, and although nothing happened and it all got straightened out, it was something we didn’t talk about. It was a bump in the relationship that we never really resolved *properly*, perhaps because we were unequipped to do so. But recently, work-related depression really impacted the relationship to the final weeks.

It’s all a lot of little things that has culminated into one big explosion of not talking about our issues as a couple. We were terrible at communicating, but it is something I know we need to fix if we go forward – but I have no idea if she wants to fix the relationship.

I haven’t seen her since July of last year. She loved me so very much, and has exclaimed to our family that it’s a sad and horrible situation. She’s a very extreme person – it’s either all or nothing with her, and growing up she and her family have had horrible experiences with abusive male figures.

She told my family that she doesn’t want to get a divorce, but rather she wants to go and live somewhere else, alone, to think about the relationship. I don’t think she realises what kind of decision she’s made. She told me she doesn’t trust me any more – but how can I prove I’m trustworthy if she hasn’t seen me for over half a year?

I wanted to know if anyone else is or has been in this kind of a situation, and how they coped. I worry every day that it’s over, and with every passing month I imagine her love for me fading to nothing. She has changed her name back to her maiden name on many of the online networks and the like, and it hurts so deeply.

I have no idea what she’s thinking and feeling, and neither do any of the family or friends. I’m completely in limbo, and although I’m seeing a psychiatrist, it’s not helping much.

Thank you for listening
– Tommy.C