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I'm Unable to be Happy

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  • #391666
    Anonymous
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    Dear Misanthrope/ Reader:

    To put it simply, misanthropes are people who hate people. They express negative judgments and dislike of all people, not just of a particular group of people (a race, an ethnicity, a gender, etc.).

    How is a misanthrope come to be?  The urban dictionary answers this question in its definition of misanthrope: “Person who has put trust into another multiple times only to be let down time and time again. After this occurs so often hope is lost, and you start to see the reality of how disgusting humanity on earth really is and hates all of mankind as a whole”.

    Health guidance. org adds that many misanthropes are bored, feel superior to their peers and “take a perverse pride in their distaste (of humans). They seem to consider it a sign of intelligence and depth”.

    In May 2018, Misanthrope, a 40-year-old married man, shared that he fits the diagnosis of depression and Avoidant Personality Disorder. Here are quotes from what he shared about his life (I boldfaced some of what follows):

    “Childhood stunk. Young Adulthood was a mess. Adulthood up to now has been a near daily kick in the face… I’m married with a Child. I’ve another Child from a practice marriage a number of years ago I’ve little contact with due to distance…I’m currently on 300mg of Wellbutrin a day, which has done precisely zero. So that’s SSRI#3 that’s an all-around waste of time… I’m miserable when I wake, I’m miserable at work, I’m miserable when I go to bed… I’ve no support system beyond said spouse, I’ve no future beyond the useless 9-5 Job I have until I can retire in another 20-25 years…

    My current environment is banal, dull, routine, and akin to plain white oatmeal… no friends…there is no ‘fixing things for myself… I’m just damaged and broken having been tossed aside by both friends, family, and loved ones too often…. I don’t think I have it in me to stick it out another 1/4 century at a job I hate, with no prospects, told ‘no’ at every turn when you try to change things for the better…I’ve been given a life, and all has pointed to being told ‘No matter how hard you work, no matter if you do the right thing to get from A to B, it’s not happening. Ever’… Therapy is not for me. I’ve shot down 3 different therapists, each with many years’ experience… I’m supposed to stay in a marriage that’s like plain white oatmeal”.

    I may or may not add to this tomorrow.

    anita

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by .
    #391682
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Misanthrope/Reader:

    I’m miserable when I wake, I’m miserable at work, I’m miserable when I go to bed… I’ve been given a life, and all has pointed to being told ‘No matter how hard you work, no matter if you do the right thing to get from A to B, it’s not happening. Ever’”-

    – the cause of your (and so many others”) misery is expectation: believing that life will or should reward us for being here, or for our deeds. It happens that we are rewarded, but too often, it does not.

    Delusions make us miserable, believing in what is real, makes us feel oh, so much better.

    Let go of your expectations. Wake up each morning- not with expectations- but with the natural, inborn desire true for every animal: the desire to experience life today, to explore, to investigate, to learn, to connect with another.

    My current environment is banal, dull, routine, and akin to plain white oatmeal… a marriage that’s like plain white oatmeal” – let go of expectations, resolve to no longer expect. Instead, reconnect with this most natural desire to live, to explore, to learn, to experience– and plain oatmeal will taste surprisingly magnificent!

    anita

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