Dear HippieChick:

What comes to my mind about making the weekend different although it will be spent in the same location as before, is to make it different. One difference I would make if I was you, was not to text your girlfriend or friends while there. Make it a time away from the usual, including the friends you leave behind when off on a vacation.

I am thinking you texted your girlfriend six months ago while away on the weekend because you were bored yourself. And your boyfriend texted her because… he was bored. So make it less boring for the two of you. Focus on what is there instead of texting to people better leave behind for the weekend.

Also, probably not a good idea to get drunk Friday night or at any time. Buzzed perhaps, pleasantly elated, okay, but not sickening drunk.

If you place your focus and interest in the people and events available in the location of the weekend vacation only, that would be a difference that will alleviate or even eliminate boredom on your part and your boyfriend’s.

anita

Dear HippieChick:

I sure hope so. It just caught my eye, that you kept texting her because her situation kept changing: I don’t like this kind of accommodating another, keeping myself dependent on another person’s changing situation. Once I am on my vacation, the situation of the third party would be her business, not mine. Unless her situation is a real emergency, which I understand it was not.

As to your worry and stress, the fact that you slept little last night is a result of this worry and a cause for more of it. So I do hope you sleep better. I would say take care of this worry and stress now the best you can as it is happening now and has been happening for a while: a short walk or a long walk, some yoga, a hot bath, hot tea…etc. Today, not tomorrow.

Also, I understand and support you not wanting to upset your boyfriend by talking about your reasons for being distressed, but I am thinking you can still talk to him about your distress in a way that doesn’t put the blame on him and as you do that, you might find relief.

Your description of the events of the last time, makes me think that indeed it was a small hiccup, an unpleasant one, no doubt and enough to trigger this distress in you, but given the circumstances (drinking on both sides, boredom on both sides), it is not alarming to me. Not at all, really. His explanations to you at the time sound sincere to me.

So consider talking to him in a different way, starting with expressing that you are okay with him, having no complaints about that past weekend 6 months ago, but that you feel distressed and hoping he can help you with this distress, so you take full responsibility over your distress. As you do, he will probably feel good about himself if he comforts you and it helps you!

Please do post again, especially with an update, perhaps, but way after the weekend!

anita

Dear HippieChick:

I am so impressed that you posted this update and sooner than later. Thank you! I am so glad it went well and that there was no unnecessary texting, no getting drunk, and that he was so attentive to you and considerate of you: the latter is priceless!

Go the Two of You!

anita