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I’m in new relationship and I’m still love and miss my ex

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  • October 14, 2023 at 10:23 pm #423116
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi Emma

    You posted on the 13th and I’m now reading your post on the 15th. Apologies for the delay. The forum has been unusually busy and your post was pushed to the 2nd page. I don’t think that many people have seen it yet.

    I’m sorry to hear about your break up. Can I ask how long it has been since the break up?

    You were together for 5 years, that is a long time. People often say that it takes half of the time of the relationship to get over it. So if you entered a new relationship before waiting 2 and a half years since your last one it makes perfect sense that you’re having difficulty getting over the loss of that relationship.

    In this case, having these feelings are normal.

    I think you understand that there’s no way for your previous relationship to continue, so you’re trying to move on. But what you logically understand, your heart can take some time to process.

    Please feel free to share your thoughts and feelings.

    Wishing you all the best! 🙏

    October 15, 2023 at 6:12 am #423118
    Roberta
    Participant

    Dear Emma

    How often did you & your ex actually meet up  & for how long in those 5 years?

    You do not say if your new relationship is also long distance, but I will reply as if it isn’t

    You may be experiencing what I call ” Honeymoon sydrome”  as long distance relationships are often based on intense short bursts of loving.

    Where as a relationship that is in situ so it also incorporates the mundane and takes a combined effort to help it grow & flourish after the initial excitement of getting together.

    Since your ex was the initiator of the break up & he has chosen not to have any contact with you it is extremely unlikely that he would be up for rekindleing a relationship.

    Yes we all indulge daydreaming and have what if moments, but they can be toxic to you experiencing happiness with the present reality, so I suggest learning some mindfulness techniques so as  & when these thoughts arise you are not trying to suppress them or feed them but see that they are just another set of momentary movements of the mind. After say 6 months you can review with a clearer mind that your supposition.

    Kind regards Roberta

     

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