It’s been about a month since I’ve cut off communication with my ex, Josh. We stopped dating a year ago, but continued to progress in our illicit ongoing sexual relationship; solely just sex, although he claimed he wasn’t over me. It was super confusing. I was still in love with him and he just wanted sex. Meanwhile, I was pretty good friends with his so-called best friend, Thomas. Thomas started to catch feelings for me, but I simply still just saw him as only a friend. So my ex and I established to end our afflictions because we agreed it was unhealthy for the both of us and on top of that, his best friend had strong feelings for me. I started hanging out with his best friend more, who at the time I considered him to be one of mine; and now it’s 1 month later, and I’ve started to develop feelings for him. We’ve kissed and it felt right in the moment, but when I’m alone and I think about it I feel a sense of guilt. I feel guilty because just a month ago, I was kissing his best friend. Not only that, but I still have yet to release my bitterness from the hurt my ex has caused me. And if I’m being completely honest here, I still shamefully think about him from time to time. But let me just lay something out on the table here; Thomas, my ex’s best friend, doesn’t want a close friendship with Josh anymore because of all the times Josh has betrayed him when it comes to girls. Josh is what you may call a man whore, and will stop at nothing when it comes to sex. So Thomas and I both feel bitterness towards Josh, but we’re too weak to call him out on his wrong doings. In a nutshell; I feel stuck, because I like what I have with Thomas, I feel so connected and comfortable with him. But I feel that it’s unfair to move forward in things with him if I still have withheld affection for my ex; who once again, is close friends with him. I don’t want to hurt anyone.
In addition, I’m fully aware of how bizarre this situation is. I would greatly appreciate if everyone could respond completely free of judgement.