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If we should forget past failures why remember past achievements?

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  • January 9, 2015 at 3:15 pm #70953
    bill
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    Distorted perceptions can cause unhappiness. But this cuts both ways. If we are admonished to forget regrets, after perhaps attempting to learn from them, then why not forget all the accomplishments of our lifetimes after looking for a lesson in them? And what of ill-gotten successes – what it the lesson? Why not be done with taking pride in anything? After all, no matter how good it was, it’s gone, right?

    I am bothered by what I see as a hypocrisy in how we view things. You can’t have it both ways. Not only that, our whole emphasis on winning, on prizes, on fame, wealth, beauty, all the things we strive for are all positively evaluated. But they will all recede into the past. I am sorry but if you ask people not to care about – to let go of the pain of broken dreams – and to move on, then you have to abandon the positive memories too because these latter are really saying that it does matter.

    To let go of regret, especially for older people, means deciding that the past does not matter whether good or bad. So why plan to make it good in order to look back upon it? Why even try to avoid regret when it is probably inevitable?

    Our whole Western value system is designed to value life in such a way that the successful outcome matters greatly. Even when we look upon great persons who endure hundreds of failures we do so as to honor some kind of ultimate success – to honor the persistent and the risk takers. There is no comfort for ultimate failure and loss. We cope with the ultimate loss of death, in our culture, by looking at the achievements of a lifetime. We have no comfort for tragic, regrettable lives. Perhaps living ethically or honorably but it’s not our first choice. We long for pleasure, love, achievements, beautiful houses, children, an impressive career. These are all fleeting things we hope to enjoy in the now and perhaps look back upon with some peace or satisfaction.

    January 10, 2015 at 10:04 pm #71009
    April
    Participant

    When we think about past memories that are good, they help us find the courage we need to conquer future issues by looking back on past successes. However, the past is not a place one should live in and believe that our past accomplishments are the only things we ever will accomplish because that is self defeating. I see the contradiction in which you discuss, we try to repress bad memories but allow the better ones to surface. But I believe we only do that for a purpose, which is motivation.

    January 11, 2015 at 12:57 am #71018
    Adam
    Participant

    Jey.

    First, I agree with what you’re saying but allowing these things to effect you so greatly is taking away your ability to find happiness. The things that bother you to this degree are things that are the same things that are keeping you away from letting them go and accepting them for what they are. It would serve you well to reflect within yourself and figure out why these things truly bother you. If you’re truly happy within yourself, then what could possibly be worth getting angry at and losing your happiness?

    People reflect on their past achievements to find strength and to empower themselves; others use their past failures to fuel their own fear of trying new things in order for them to see new opportunities as future failures then use that as a reason to stick with what they are comfortable with. These people limit their ability to live in the present moment which results in stress, anxiety, and fear. Accepting someone can only be achieved when you’re aware of the fact that everyone in the world is doing the best they can from their level of consciousness. Meaning, people are doing the best the can with the small amount of information they have. In order to respect their decisions and their life’s path, find respect for yours. What makes others happy doesn’t effect you so focus on what you need in order to be happy.

    What is the purpose of different universes to us? Why does everything have to have a purpose? What would you do if you lost your memory completely and had no idea who you were? Would that stop you from feeling fulfilled and happy in life? You deserve happiness just as much as every living creature on this Earth and there’s nothing that should stop any of us from finding pure happiness.

    If you need life to mean something, find meaning in expressing compassion to others, find purpose in kindness, and truth in love. By following customary or traditional beliefs, you limit your ability to understand what you honestly believe which effects the values you live by as well. Don’t point the finger at other’s mistakes, focus on what you need to do in order to be internally joyful, then share it with the world.

    “Our only purpose in life is to find happiness in our lives, then selflessly share it with our everything around us.”

    Good luck! I hope this helped in some way.

    Thepathofaronin.blogspot.com is my personal blog and may help if you need any advice.

    Take care, friend.

    January 11, 2015 at 8:19 am #71021
    Wiseowl
    Participant

    Often past failures can stop us from moving forwards, it is better to let them go. We can keep trying after failures, and eventually learn to find a way forwards, if it means using determination or else finding a reconciliation inside yourself to move down a different path more suited to yourself. Dwelling on past achievements is also not always a good thing, it is a question of measure. I have moments of pride when I recall past successes but these don’t guarantee future successes and life is a long journey and it is better to live in the present rather then the past.

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