Hey everyone, I know I keep saying this but I hope I’m not posting too much, and this song is called “Hate Love (Bitter).” I’ve not been feeling that good emotionally today, and as the title suggested, some of the things I’d thought I’d dealt with decided to rear their ugly heads again, like the bitterness and jealousy I have for people who’ve been in a relationship for a long time. Let me just say that I would never try to sabotage someone else’s happiness or go out of my way to make them feel bad for finding someone that makes them happy, when these feelings first came up (after the Adam situation I mentioned in the My Story post) I immediately knew that the issue was ith me, but at that time I would back up this belief by saying that I was “jealous because I’m a vile human being and I know that I can’t get nor do I deserve to be happy with another person because of what I did.” I now don’t believe that anymore, but these things still come up from time to time. This is a “feeling sorry for myself” type of song, and I wrote it because I don’t think people write about self-pity in general, especially in R&B, so here goes :

Intro

The definition of love is strong affection. The definition of hate is strong dislike. Either way, I’m obsessed.

Keep saying that I’m over it

Just keep on saying that I’m over it

I think I got everyone fooled

But what they don’t know is that

Sometimes I cry so hard

I drown in my own tears

Then come back to life

And do it all over again

And other times I think about what it’d be like to have

A lover and a best friend all wrapped in one with a ribbon on it

And then it’s back to

I hate love, but I did it to myself

Threw it all away, didn’t need no help

But that doesn’t stop me from

Reminiscing and wishing

I would have done things different

Never wanted love, just liked the idea

So why does it hurt that you’re not here?

Ooh, it just makes me wanna

Hate to love, Love to hate

It’s all the same, is there really a difference

Sometimes I want to hold and be held

Other times seeing love makes me want to take a one way to hell

But if I told you, I’d have to let go of my pride (and that’s a no no)

So I found it easier to lie (Only easier for me though)

Might say I wish you the best

But I know I’d be lyin’

Might even say I’m not hurt anymore

And then go straight back to crying

I know that I’m bitter

You don’t have to tell me twice

But you would be too

If all you thought about was me and you

CHORUS

BRIDGE

I say loving and being loved makes me sick

But then I try to replace you and no-one clicks

This is just a vicious cycle (It’s like a mary go round)

One minute I want to be left alone

Then I realise home don’t feel like home

But right now all I can say is

CHORUS

END