I will look into it. Is it addictive? Are there side effects if I decide to come off of it? How long did it take to effect you? Sorry for all the questions, I’m very open to finding an appropriate medication soon. Thanks for the info

avvyk8,

Not addictive. That’s why I chose it. Only mild side effects — like with some anti-depressants, which it is similar to. Made my head feel a little funny in the beginning. Google brain zaps. That subsided. I’ve been on it for about a year, so I haven’t come off it yet, though I did reduce my dosage with no problems. Unlike many of its antidepressant cousins, they say you don’t even have to taper, though I probably will when the time comes.

Sorry to high jack your thread, George. Don’t know to respond to avvyk8 via other means. Hope you’re feeling better today. And glad that we can all try to help each other.

Dear George:
How are you feeling today???
anita

@georgev,

How have you been feeling as of late? I am sorry for not getting back to you at an earlier time. In addition to an injury that kept be bedridden for 3 weeks I have been keeping quite busy with other things.

I do have one more question if you don’t mind. What has caused you to obtain a misanthropic point of view? This would also greatly help. Thank you.

Namaste to you,

Al

@georgev,

Life, the universe, our existence, is dynamic. Nothing ever stays the same. Change is a constant. This applies to our identities and personalities. A person may be sure and believe themselves to be confident and positive in their moral beliefs, however, an event may occur and abruptly alter their creeds. This is true at all levels of our lives. Today we may hate broccoli but 10 years from now that may change, today we may be gentle in speech and manner but 30 years may change that, today I may hate my religion but next month my mind may have been opened to embrace it, etc…Our beings are constantly being tweaked accordingly as personal growth is a never-ending endeavor. By understanding and accepting this, we do ourselves a great favor as change can now be embraced and difficult predicaments can now be better managed.

When a new and uncomfortable event occurs in our lives, one can definitely curse and yell and stress at this unfamiliar experience or one can try to keep calm and dwell on how this event occurred as to prevent it in the future (or lessen its impact as adversity is also a constant) and learn its lesson(s) to benefit our inner development. While true that the scale of the event influences our disposition, don’t you believe that understanding and making sense of the situation more valuable than disapproving it for our mental and spiritual beings? In fact, implementing this reflective method, also known as Right View/Understanding from the Noble Eightfold Path of Buddhism, helps assert peace in our mind as we come to understand the phenomena/events constantly occurring around us. You believe your identity to have been shattered, however, it’s highly possible it simply needs readjusting. If so, then simply go forth once again and reestablish your new likes and dislikes, your ‘funs’ and ‘boredoms’, your delights and discontents. Elate all beautiful events and experiences with the spirit of an infant and immerse yourself in their wonderment. For, do you sincerely believe you no longer have these rights? To feel bliss and thrill, among others? When I began in these forums I used to tell members whom shared similar hardship to yours that moving forward did not mean to stay in a stagnant, comfortable state awaiting answers but to continue exploring, experimenting, experiencing and discovering to increase the chances of a possible stimulating development to occur and render imperative metamorphosis. In fact, do try to view yourself as such: a butterfly constantly metamorphosing from one beautiful design to another. You’ve currently simply obtained a flat tire. But your engine isn’t dead. It still breathes, in fact, and presently running on a spare, awaiting to be refitted with a new one.

As for coming to terms with your past and having mixed feelings about your parents, it is simply a matter of deep understanding. We were all young once, inexperienced, possibly brash and/or foolish, etc….including our parents. Some of us may never have had the proper guidance and influences to render us into ‘wholesome’ beings. Can a person be blamed for sexually abusing their offspring when they themselves have been subject to it? Can a gangster be blamed for killing another gangster when all he/she has known is this hostile environment? Can a North Korean citizen be blamed for hating America when they’ve been exposed to anti-American propaganda all their lives? It is the same with your parents, especially your father. Perhaps he did have a father who tried to teach him right, perhaps his father did not do enough, perhaps his father was an alcoholic, perhaps his father wasn’t around enough, etc..the scenarios are limitless. The point is, we must try to remain understanding to his situation. As you well know, the world, global society, does not do the greatest of jobs in cultivating spiritual and mental development in our most critical and receptive years. Hence, he cannot be blamed. In fact, no one can be blamed. We are all on this earth living our existence in accordance to our many influences. In this truth we therefore all remain entirely innocent. On this earth there exists no being who knows it all and is thus allowed to pass truly accurate judgment. Your parents, yourself and I along with the rest of the TB members will forever remain children of life; constantly learning and (hopefully) changing into better beings.

There is definitely more I would like to add, however, my injury is beginning to aggravate me and I do not want to be distracted when helping a fellow human being. Perhaps I will touch more once you reply. And, per usual, I apologize in advance if I’ve made any grammatical mistakes. If something seems confusing, please be sure to let me know so I may clarify/correct myself. I hope this helps.

Al

@georgev,

It seems old age is affecting me for I have received another injury. I would like to ask that you please remain patient while I do my best to recover. I will definitely answer you. Please try to keep your spirits up in the meantime. Thank you.

Al

@georgev,

How have you been? Thank you very much for having been patient with me. And please do not worry, I do not feel in any way forced to have to answer you or any other. Assisting other fellow human beings is one of my purposes. It is a privilege.

George, essentially we all suffer in one form or another and in different extremities. This is a truth. ‘Existence’ requires opposites for all things, physical and non-physical, in order to be. Therefore, to experience life one must understand that they cannot simply hope to encounter only the good but also the bad. Perhaps the best way to describe this is by explaining the concept of yin and yang from Taoism. Simply put, opposite forces exist to oppose and thereby balance one another to complete wholeness and equilibrium. Man cannot exist without woman, there cannot be shadows without light, up cannot exist withoug down, there cannot be good without evil, etc… No one and nothing is exempt from this law. This includes humanity. Chaos is meant to exist as it has purpose and will continue to exist so we may recognize when something is positive and the positive will continue to exist so we may distinguish it from chaos. Could you determine if something was good if we did not recognize evil? Could you even determine what evil is if good did not exist?

My friend, if negativity is established as an existential constant, do you believe taking your life would remove it? For, even the Dalai Lama has acknowledged that a peaceful world does not mean that evil no longer resides but that world peace is considered a success if the majority of the world displays it. How much injustice would there have to be removed in order for you to be satisfied? In order for you to not consider taking your life? If, however, this still does nothing to quell your heart, please dwell on this: during a conversation between the Dalai Lama and Queen Elizabeth of England, His Holiness asked the Queen if she could believed the state of this world had become better. She answered ‘yes’ without hesitation. In their 80+ years on this earth, they have witness numerous countries putting in more effort in working together politically and economically, sending each other relief during natural disasters, creating peace treaties and alliances, countries providing and establishing equality to all peoples of this world, witnessing wider acceptance of intercultural relationships and the development of inter religious churches, among others. Dear George, if you open your eyes and heart further you will come to see that the majority of this world is not engulfed in chaos but brimming with people preaching compassion and coexistence. You merely only see and hear the negatives because unfortunately mainstream media does a great job in exploiting these sort of news for their financial gains (for the most part). However, if you were to seek independent news outlets, you will hear, see and read the stories that are barely exposed like the non profit organization in India that rescues injured animals and find families to adopt them or the international group that fights to eliminate the practices of performing animals like bears, horses, monkeys and elephants in third world countries or the Hollywood CEO who gave up his position and fortune to build schools and orphanages in Cambodia or the Chinese citizens fighting to establish dialogue with their own government to give Tibetans back their country or the African teenager whose village was so desolate he taught himself to build a windmill to create electricity for his village to use. These positive stories, like their negative counterparts, are also everywhere. Just more difficult to find.

George, taking your life as an act of revenge to all the injustices of this world will not yield in your desired results. Already there have been many such as yourself in various countries sacrificing themselves, leaving notes and videos explaining their reasons, and yet, what has transpired from it? Instead, if you continue to live and share your beautiful and passionate heart with others, especially to the next generations, don’t you believe you would create a much more positive long-term impact then? If all the good hearted people like yourself took their lives after witnessing the handful of chaotic elements in this world, who would be left to teach all that is good and beautiful?

Dear friend, I hope this answers many of your questions. I will not disagree that for some life can be an ugly and cruel experience, however, my own experiences compel me to aid/show these uncertain individuals that this existence can and does contain redeeming qualities. It is, as it has always been, in the end, our choice.

As usual, I apologize for any grammatical mistakes. Because of my wrist injury, I am using voice commands to write this. If something should not make sense please do not hesitate to mention it so I may clarify the matter.

Al