Home→Forums→Relationships→I want to inspire child abuse survivors
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October 17, 2015 at 8:25 am #85539
AnonymousInactiveYou’re a beautiful brave girl. I’m so proud if your post because it’s open, honest, eloquent. Shocking. .. emotive.
Look what you’ve come through?
My step dad blames stress too and can’t see anything wrong. I was never hurt like you. Bruises heal but words… words man…. never go away.
So when will you be free of it? Are you safe now?October 17, 2015 at 9:09 am #85543AnonymousInactiveI am still living with my mom amd dad. I don’t want to call the cops or try to escape, because of the pissibility of going into a more abusive home. Also, I would want to be somewhere that will allow me to commute to my college. There is also the thought of not be being around my little brother. I want to be there for him if he’s in pain of crying. However, I avoid talking it my mom most of the time, amd when ever I do, I act happy in order to keep her calm. Are you still living with your step dad?
October 17, 2015 at 9:27 am #85546AnonymousInactiveI feel like I’ve read your story before. ..
Anyway how much have you believed what your mum said? I’m not sure how these things work but can you be taken with your brother into care? I know it could mean a bad family but how can it be worse? How’s your little brother coping? Are you close?
You’re old enough to leave home. I’m wondering… I don’t know what I’m wondering but I’m hearing that you’re prepared to settle for now and play the long game so my best wishes to you. I think I’m hoping that somehow you see your mum for what she is and have built in a place that will keep you safe from whatever she throws at you and cam see it for what it is…. it doesn’t puns like it’s about you. But her.
October 17, 2015 at 9:31 am #85547AnonymousInactiveOh and no I don’t live with him. But nearby. Now I’m the one he wants to spend his time with. Like I’m some super person. I can be blunt and honest with him but I can’t tell him about what he did to us the closest I got was recently when he said again he was stressed when we we lre kids, yes HD was I can see that but I alluded that his stress made him a monster. It’s mum I blame. She turned her face and dud nothing to help us kids. It’s her guilt she carries around wrh her now and to be honest we let her. She deserves that guilt. She can keep it
But that past shall not shape my future. Except I shall never have kids .
October 17, 2015 at 9:31 am #85548AnonymousGuestDear Jessica:
You are my hero!
anita
October 17, 2015 at 9:33 am #85549AnonymousInactiveI slaw are that my mom has issues, and that noting is my fault. I’d rather stay though. It might see, like a bad decision, but a home that I go to could lead me to getting broken bones, or even experiencing sexual abuse. I’m also using the counseling services at my school. But I’ll be okay though. I am glad that my mom has given me all the materials I need for survival, and I do still care and love her. I believe that you will continue to love someone, even if they hurt you, if you lived with them and depended on them for a long time. But sometimes it’s best the close the door.
October 17, 2015 at 9:35 am #85550AnonymousInactiveThank you again as Anita ^^!
October 17, 2015 at 9:36 am #85552AnonymousInactiveCarloline, you are aware of the wrong your parents did to you. You know what is and what isn’t acceptable behavior. Are you afraid that you would also abuse your children if you had them?
October 17, 2015 at 1:42 pm #85561AnonymousGuestDear Jessica/ My Hero:
I too (Like Caroline) decided long ago that I will not have children. And I didn’t. I wouldn’t now even if I was young enough. Not because I am afraid I will abuse them if I had children at this point but because I experienced life as so painful that I will feel guilty just for bringing new life into this painful world.
I figured long ago, if I wanted children I would adapt those who already had the misfortune to be born… Then I wouldn’t feel guilty for their presence in the world and would try to make the best for them.
If you agree, Jessica, I will re-post your thread, waiting for your final approval of the idea (not fully cooked in my brain).
anita
October 17, 2015 at 10:43 pm #85579AnonymousInactiveCripes. Jessica your question made me unexpectedly and rather violently cry there for a second. … seems you must have hit on something there. Yes quite possibly I would fear that as I’m too hoppy abouty to be able to live with a child forever and ever. I’m selfish and I’ve already done the whole getting up in the night for wee brother. I’ve done the shopping for school shoes and endless cooking and nappies and no freedom ever ever and I did a shit job of that too so… no.
That’s not true
I did a great job. .but I hated it.I have a very strong maternal instinct but I use it for animals and adults who need it more
October 17, 2015 at 10:44 pm #85580AnonymousInactiveFrom the ages of about…. 10-16 as I was so I feel like I gave up my childhood to bring up a child…
Which I also recognise how I’ve slightly regressed into childlike ways . The everything’s an adventure, let’s play. Kind of way.
October 17, 2015 at 11:42 pm #85582
jockParticipantI just hope and pray that anyone who survives child abuse can somehow create a happy and positive life for themselves. They are due for a change of luck!
October 18, 2015 at 9:52 am #85604AnonymousInactiveCaroline, there is nothing wrong with being selfish. We all need to care and love ourselves first before we help another person. I also don’t want children. I have many dreams, and I feel that if I have kids that it would get in the way of everything. Similar to you, I’d want a pet. I do love kids, but I think a oet would be better. I’m sorry that I cased you to cry. I didn’t mean to affect you negatively.
October 18, 2015 at 11:33 am #85608AnonymousInactiveTears aren’t negative. I like it when something gets me like that because it tells me there’s something I’m not looking at and tells me if I react like that then i ought to explore that when I’m safe to. So actually thank you.
Yeah I got a fatty old cat. Though the commitment is no different to a child.
October 18, 2015 at 2:14 pm #85616AnonymousInactiveI glad that you aren’t upset. Loving animals is equivalent to loving a child. In a sense, we are all animals. So whether your taking care of a baby or pet, there are only differences in appreance and behavior. I’m also happy that you are taking good care if your cat. I’m very sure that it feels happy being in your presence. I can tell that you are a caring and wonderful person 🙂
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