Hello everyone!!

I just had a huge drama with my father. We were very close when I was a kid (oh currently I am a 35yo woman), and during teenage years we started having big arguments and we could spend weeks without speaking to each other even living in the same house. When I was 18 he decided to leave my mother not before letting me know first and telling me that the only reason why he didn’t leave before that was me. I didn’t take it so well, specially when he basically asked me to choose who did I want to live with (all this before even talking to my mother about it). I pretty much told him to f*** off. He rarely helped me with any money since I was 17yo.

Years later, once he was stablished in a new city, we resumed the relationship via email and we started to be “friends” (this was when I was around 22). We have had our ups and downs, due to both having a very short temper and are very proud. The has been a lot of miscommunication and attempts to keep it civil and we generally managed to keep a relationship.

Some years ago, he told me he was in a relationship with some woman and asked me to meet her. I declined because I truly had no willing to meet her, specially I wasn’t up to traveling to that city to do that (and I couldn’t afford it anyway), and that was it. A couple of years ago I asked him what was the status with this woman and changed the subject and never talked about it.

He’s being trying to get a hold on me since last week, and when he finally did, he forgot he wanted to talk to me, and make up a fight out of no where and stopped chatting/emailing me for that week until today, when he even called me that he needed to talk to me.

So he pretty much said to me, that he’s been living with someone (didn’t say that woman’s name so I have no clue if it’s the same and I didn’t ask), for the past FOUR YEARS. That he didn’t tell me because “it’s his own business”, and that he setup a business with her that didn’t work, and they were going to start another one… that they also talked about having kids and oh well… the kid was born SIX MONTHS AGO… and that he is telling me NOW because A FRIEND told him he should tell me.

I blew up. I went nuclear on him and told him every single resentment I had since I was a teenager to this day. I was even cruel to some point and I made emphasis that he should have told me WAY before than now. It doesn’t bother me that he got a new family, it bothers me that he didn’t tell me anything for so long and I think he should have tried to tell me since the moment he started living with this person.

I am also angry that -when I asked him how was he going to support that kid, since he pretty much stopped supporting me at 17, and since I know he permanently has money problems, he said he was going to work on anything. I must say that he is 57.

I Told him to never call me again and cut off any way for him to contact me online.

I really need some thoughts… am I overreacting? can I get away with not talking to him again? oh btw, his father was a deadbeat father that never helped him on anything and he didn’t have any kind of relationship with him. I could say that we were perfect compared to them. He had the gut to tell me that he never wanted for me to feel like I didn’t have a father which is funny because now that’s exactly what I feel.