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I thought I was better

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  • September 11, 2017 at 11:40 am #168324
    PearceHawk
    Participant

    Hi Cali…Ya mind if I abbreviate?

    I just have a few questions for you if you don’t mind. You said, “i was not doing too well for a while. even had a plan to end my life in may. but then i got on track,… What was happening before you got on track? What made it so bad that you thought of ending your life? What’s going on at home to call it “home toxicity?” Is it fair for me to say that maybe some of the anxiety might be due to a history of instability, such as at home? Home instability can carry over into adulthood and cause some crazy anxiety. You said you moved cross country. From where to where? What is the type of work that  you do? What is the industry? Moving cross country to get away from some bad juju and landing a job where you virtually don’t know anyone is a huge anxiety trigger. You said, “whats wrong with me?” Nothing is wrong with you. You had/have a lot of some serious stuff going on and you got backed into a corner and now, perhaps you feel overwhelmed in dealing with all these things going on. Keep the therapy appointment and let us know what’s going on.

    Love,

    Pearce

    September 11, 2017 at 11:45 am #168326
    Patrick
    Participant

    Dear Cali Sister,

    I am very sorry for your suffering and it sounds extremely stressful for you. It is very hard to handle these feelings and it hurts you tremendously. Cali, may I call you that? I have just a few questions, seeing as this is a pretty loaded subject. This is your life after all.

    1. You said you have a hard time at work. Is this because you are not happy with your job? Are there people there who bother you?

    2. You explain that you are very restless as you progress through your job. What kind of work do you do? What is it about your job that you feel anxious about it? When you worry about getting worried in the afternoon, it often amplifies your anxiety. Try to pinpoint the cause of that anxiety, without putting too much pressure on yourself, Cali.

    3. Not everyone is proud of our actions, especially under the influence. Is one of the people you texted drunkenly this Y man?

    4. You say that you do not feel adequate enough in life because of past circumstances and experiences. Is this anxiety similar to the anxiety you feel at work? Or is the cause, this man?

    5. You tell us that you completely ignore this man when you invite him, yell at him to get away from him and then beg him to not leave you and give a second chance. First off, this sounds heartbreaking because your inner tension is creating these anxious feelings that well up and get out of control. It pushes people away from you when you want to be near them. You also said “the conclusion of the meeting is – “i want to see you later this week, but i need some time to think right now””. He said it right there: he wants to see you again. Use this time to not worry about what he thinks of you and to work on yourself.

    No matter what happens, it will be ok, Cali. Please don’t hurt yourself.

    September 11, 2017 at 12:06 pm #168330
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear cali sister:

    I have the benefit of remembering yours and mostly your sister’s threads in the past.

    The good news is that it is very possible for you to live a better life on an ongoing basis, to develop a healthier and healthier state of mind, confidence in your ability to function well, to function for your own benefit on a consistent basis.

    I believe that you experienced lots of fear living with your mother and her compliant, passive husband (your father). When you fear “that someone has control over me now bc i like them”, I think it is your fear of your mother being activated.

    I hope your psychotherapy is effective. It takes time but it also takes a quality therapist. I hope your sessions include more than “talk therapy” and more than getting insight into the past; that it teaches you skills, such as mindfulness, practical ways to calm yourself and new ways of thinking (such as in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy exercises).

    If you have ongoing contact with your mother, it may be necessary for you to cut all contact, at least for a while, while you attend therapy.

    Psychiatric drugs may be needed on the short term, as needed.

    Please post again, anytime.

    anita

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