Ajack379 –

I’m sincerely sorry to hear that you’re both going through this. While we are all critical of ourselves—of course, some much more than others—I do appreciate what you’re feeling.

But sadly, it really seems that you two should be apart. And I believe you know this.

Not everyone is ready or hard-wired to be in a long-term relationship. And that’s okay. It takes a certain level of confidence, inner strength and selflessness. To be “in love” means putting that other person before yourself. When this is reciprocated (and they care more for you than themselves), it’s a wonderful thing. And very rare. So please, don’t beat yourself up for not putting this girl before yourself. You’re an “unfinished work” and may still be maturing, growing and discovering – at any age. To some degree, it is okay to be selfish. (But cheating is never cool in any committed relationship as it hurts the other person.)

The best part here is you’re being honest – at least with us in this forum. I’m guessing it’s very cathartic for you. Which is good. You need this. But you’ve said that you’re not attracted to her, etc. It’s done.

Also, if you care for her in any way, let her go. It will be immediately hard for you both. Probably more for her as she wants this significantly more than you. But ultimately, it will free her to explore and, if it’s right, find someone who will love her.

Let her go, pal. It will be the best for you both. And, I think you know this.

Wishing you both peace …

• This reply was modified 8 years, 7 months ago by Ninja.

Good to know.

You probably both need some time to heal. Give that to yourself. You might need it more than you realize.

Have a great weekend.