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Hi Findingme,
It may sound like intense fear of abandonment and rejection. I have it too, but mine came from constant abandonment from an Alcoholic mother, in my early childhood, rejection, no nurturing, no love, etc. Then what happens, is that we will push someone away or leave them, before they leave us. It becomes a viscious cycle. A book that really helped me with this called “I love you, don’t leave me!” Therapy really helped with fear of abandonment and rejection, pushing people away. Did you have any kind of abandonment or trauma in your childhood? Keep us posted. x
Hi FindingMe,
It sounds like you first need to focus on Finding Yourself. All of the love and security you’ll ever need can only come from God/Source and inside of yourself. Sure, other people can contribute to your happiness, love and security, but if you don’t have it within, you will continually push people away due to your own doubts and fears of abandonment. I don’t know how old your kids are. I don’t know how your Parents helped (or didn’t help) you feel safe and secure growing up. But how can you do this for yourself (almost “Re-Parenting” yourself)? How do you do this for your children? If you imagine yourself as a 5 year old, how would you reassure her that she is safe, secure, and loved? How can you learn to trust in yourself? Heal yourself from whatever is holding you back? It starts with You. You are the only one responsible for healing what is hurting you (even if it’s mostly you). You are the only one that can extend compassion and forgiveness for yourself, and the others that have hurt you. By forgiving them, you don’t condone or accept their behavior, but you release the emotional hold that they still have over you. You can set yourself free. You can recognize and honor the love that is already inside of you. It’s not a “One-time” thing. It’s an ongoing process. It’s a lifetime journey, to love and accept ourselves as we are, while still striving to become the Best Version of Ourselves. Take it one step at a time. One day at a time. And be patient, gentle, kind, and understanding with your process. Look within your Heart and recognize that your Love has always been there. It will always be there. You just have to remind yourself. And remember that You Are Love.
Take Care. Blessings to you.
Dawn R.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 