Feeling like one can not relax or has no peace of mind at home is a difficult thing. It makes us edgy and unhappy. I do support your walking early in the morning, even if you feel the mental relief is only temporary. At least, temporary is better than nothing, right? Sometimes these unhappy or difficult situations are there to nudge us to find a way to move forward that supports our emotional wellness. I have been in an unhappy marriage, and my mother and father had an unhappy home while growing up. I so longed to get out of both situations. As you finish your schooling, you will have the opportunities to make decisions about where to live, how to live, etc. You may decide you need more independence right now, as soon as the pandemic is over I mean, and do something else in your life. My home life in my former marriage was just like living somewhere that unsettled my mind and soul. I felt unprotected and longed for validation for others. This was my journey to figure out things in my life and learn to give myself the things I needed and looked for in others. As for coping, I also feel the pandemic angst and I am probably your grandmother’s age! I cope day by day and one day at a time. I am reading good books, I am trying to get outside every day. Trying to keep my thinking positive. One thing I have learned in life is “this too shall pass” which is an old saying but it is true. We will come out of this someday and we will persevere to better. Or we can let this time defeat us and we live in this angst and unhappiness for the rest of our lives. Stay strong.

Hello!

I’m new here so I just wanna share my thoughts about how I am at home.

Sometimes I dunno why I feel really short- tempered to my grandmother.Ever since my dad and mom left me to my grandmother because they were too busy with their work,I never really got that Parent attention in my life.After school,when I was a kid,I was always punished for being too dirty, for bullying, or even for just doing something wrong.Every hit behind me left a mark throughout my life.I always get scared, I easily get insecure, and most of the times, I would just hug my knees in a corner and cry.It was horrible.

After a few months have passed, finally graduated from elementary, there were a few new changes in which I had to really be independent in life.How could I?When all my life I was tortured and manipulated.I never got the change to really express how I really feel.Usually,after I got home from school,and watch T.v, my grampa quickly gets angry at me for just sitting there.Why?Why would she be angry?She never even told me to do anything at all.

The reason why I posted this is that I am starting to feel really anxious here at home.I easily get mad, always hiding what I’m doing coz she might de something bad at me.Those things.My point is,I need help.I need help in coping of this feeling inside me.