Hi. This is a new experience for me please bare with me. I’m 48, a single disabled mom, with zero family and I was cut off from them all stop communicating with me the day my mother passed and it’s not important at all anymore. My son’s father, my ex husband, is a very disabled person who is not able to accept the fact that it’s over for us and that happened when our son was two and a half. So instead of acting as a dad he just focuses on his relationship with me, even has zero knowledge or have any relationship with my son. My son has had a tough upbringing with challenges that most children through. He’s been in therapy since I left his dad. So the current one he’s been with for ten years and knows me that long as well I am grateful for that man. He has been a plus. The school district, in my village, unfortunately is biased towards poor people and the people mainly focus on ones socioeconomic status, to me, my child has been through many different types of problems with teachers, assistant teachers, kids it was so bad in middle school that my child, my baby wanted to die. Thankful that he came to me instead and also that what is happening in the present isn’t like that. He’s been trying to get back on schedule with school however this year as junior they’re piling up work that the board of education is like I can’t even think about it because it’s so much a problem with the kids and in ny they’re way too strict and unfair in my opinion especially considering how much they have been through as children. In the third week of school my son had the flu and was out the whole week.  Now he’s not been able to get back into school for a steady pace at all.  I’ve scheduled meetings, I’ve spoken with my son and his psychologist at school who btw made me feel completely uncomfortable the other day I literally said to her that I had to go because I was not feeling like I was being heard and instead of being respectful she kept going I just hung up. I now have a somewhat feeling of things he’s experiencing inside of school. So we’d had a meeting recently and he agreed that he was going to do his best, but I know my son and my child just said yes until they stopped speaking to him, these people in his school he’ll continue to say ok. Yes. because he’s never been protected he feels uncomfortable he doesn’t really trust any of the teachers at all or staff period and considering the fact that he wasn’t protected when he was bullied so badly he wanted to not live ok, I feel that his feelings are valid. So in their presence period, he tries, does the best he can and in response to him he gets more negative reinforcement.  So that’s the school to which I’ve got a meeting already scheduled for this because as a parent and an person period, it’s just not okay by any means in my opinion.  In regards to his mental health I’m taking him to therapy today, he’s seeing a psychiatrist on Monday and my son is the one who came to me for that to talk about.  I have a plan and i feel positive about it and remain hopeful. I’ve not been able to have any support regarding this topic because I stay usually alone, I’ve just been doing my own thing and I’m not worried about another just trying to work on myself personally and professionally. I have to share that I was raised by a malignant narcissist and my dads emotional state died in Vietnam. I’m afraid of people. I don’t trust easily. I can tell a person the best advice because I do have a ton unfortunately of life experience in general bad things this is a first virtual ask for support, for me. I’m the adult. I’m not sleeping. I’m mentally exhausted. I’m so sad I cry uncontrollably for hours late after he’s sleeping. I do my schoolwork and I contribute towards my own mental health and mindfulness I mean you suggest something I’ll try it, hopefully it works. I’m just really feeling sad because my kid is sweet considerate thoughtful kind loving affectionate caring loving I mean I broke the cycle when I became a mom with him so he’s an absolute pleasure and blessing. He’s my whole life. I love him so much. I feel completely powerless angry at god because why my kid I say or write it down I don’t understand why him and I feel just so empathetic towards his situation because he’s been through a lot he’s a very strong kid that has pulled him self through some difficult situations that he’s unfortunately seen me through like surgeries, so yes I’m mad about if it’s directed towards the school or my god idk I’m exhausted. There’s not enough conversation going on concerning the children that were greatly affected by this Pandemic. It hit my child and it’s like almost a shock to his system that unfortunately less parents want to be able to understand the importance and urgency of this issue/s going on with the youth. So he’s become  off his regular schedule that I’ve had him adjusted to since he was 9 months old. He tries. He listens. He’s communicating however in my gut I know there’s more than what he’s saying it’s what he’s not saying that is truly bothering me.  Im scared, alone, I love my boy, I am helpless and heartbroken. So I remain hopeful and get to this site as much as possible and I speak to another friend that also has been through major trauma parenting is a different ball game entirely. So I am being optimistic, I’m open and honest looking for support, validation maybe empathy idk what to expect I know I’m afraid and that’s ok to. Thank you all so much if you’ve only just read a little I’m thankful.