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I need help with relaxing

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  • #165946
    sparkle00
    Participant

    Hi everyone, i have been with my partner for 2 years. I constantly think he will end things or find someone better or restart something again with his ex. I want to learn how to relax and just let things be instead of being so uptight. At the beginning he was understanding about how I found it hard to trust but I still have trouble and I think he’s getting fed up. Prior to him I was in a relationship with someone who dumped me over and over, never said I love you nothing.  He used me for money everything.  But I could never be myself with him. He put me down all the time, I wasn’t smart enough or thin or outgoing.  He wanted me to change who I was. He assaulted me and I lost all confidence in myself. Then I met my current and he has been nothing but great. I can be myself with him, we click. But my insecurities are ruining it and I’m worried he will have enough of me. This is what I do.  If I don’t hear from him I think he doesn’t love me. We went on holiday and any attractive woman that he spoke to I became insecure about. My guy is friendly and they take it the wrong way. He wants to join a club and I believe he will meet someone more exciting. I feel like I’m just average and couldn’t compare to someone glamorous. I worry if he gets a text and think it’s a ex or someone else. My guy has heaps of female friends. What can I do. I have never had so much love from someone and sometimes I become overwhelmed that it will disappear. I just want to enjoy him.

    • This topic was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by sparkle00.
    #165988
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Flossy73:

    Isn’t it interesting, that when we get what we want, in your case, a loving boyfriend who treats you well, and yet we can’t enjoy it. How to relax those worries, that anxiety so you can enjoy it, that is the question.

    When you find yourself worrying, when you notice your doubting, troubling thoughts and the discomfort in thinking them, the physical distress, uptightness, take a moment and relax, taking a deep, slow breath. Do it every time you notice your body getting uptight.

    After a few breaths talk some sense to yourself. Comfort yourself. Tell yourself: it is okay. He has been loving toward me. It is okay. So far he has been loving. Worry later, not now. Later.

    Postpone your worries. When they insist and persist, postpone them. “Later,” say to yourself. I will worry later. Not now.

    anita

     

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