Oh honey 🙁 You’re putting so much pressure on yourself! I’ve been there, trying to please everyone and feeling low, even when I was trying my hardest.

Do YOU think you’re good-looking? Do YOU think you’re hard-working? Do you really want to look like an average teenager? Never mind what those people have told you. Your opinion is the one that matters. Also, its very unprofessional of your teacher to call you lazy! I would feel so hurt, too. How rude of her. And I hope that by “college” you mean sixth form, last years of high school?

Don’t let these people step on you. Do what you want and ignore the rest. Maybe they’re jealous because you’re actually very gifted and they aren’t! Who knows. Do not let them dictate how you behave! You’re much better than that.

xx

Friend, you are clearly awesome, you’re pursuing a job you love and have achieved so many successes in your life! I say don’t give up on doing a job you love and ignore people who speak badly of you. I know it’s hard when others try to bring you down, don’t give them that power over you! Focus on the positives in your life and know that you’ve got what it takes to have an amazing life. 😀

Wissam,

I can understand how disorienting it must be to have all of those signs around you, like why would your teacher call you lazy, why would your friend remove you from facebook? I’m sure there are many more that you’ve not mentioned. Have hope, there is always a path to joy. A few things came to heart as I read and reflected on your words.

It seems like a fertile time to confront your fear and develop courage. For instance, your teacher calls you lazy, and you become afraid of what that means. Your fear turns the words inwards and makes it about you. “Am I lazy? Is she right in calling me that? Do I deserve that? Why does she look at me so much?”

Consider that all of us feel fear, and it is absolutely necessary for us to develop courage. Courage is not being able to do scary things fearlessly, but the energy inside us that acknowledges the fear, and does the action anyway. Perhaps you could walk up to the teacher and courageously confront her on the name calling. “Why do you call me lazy, I do well and pay attention. When you call me lazy, I don’t like it and my feelings are hurt. Please stop.” Or the urdu equivalent. 🙂

The same is true of the other relationships. If you ask out the girl and she says no, you have the information it takes to move on. Women are often particular in their taste, and just because one likes you as a friend and not romatically does not mean you are unattractive to all girls. That is just the fear. Consider asking out another, and seeing where it goes. Remember courage is the energy that let’s us try and fail, try and fail until we try and succeed.

It sounds like when you feel fear of the unknown, your mind runs and runs. Its very creative! Perhaps some meditation would help with that. YouTube has some great videos on that, my favorite is a series be Ajahn Jayasaro. The fifth video in the series is a counting breath meditation that is simple and effective.

With warmth,
Matt

Wissam,

Ive been in the place where you are now…I wonder what makes these people who criticize you special.??? If someone criticizes you on the wrong point I think you should be bold and take a stand and oppose it…Im in 10th grade and so I know how much pressure you must be going through…I’ll tell you one incident…Everyday I have to tell the prayer in fron of an assembly of 1000 students and they repeat after me,so naturally I might get confused atleast one day..My teacher just hates me cos Im good in studies and I became the headgirl against her wish.(she wanted another girl who’s her pet to become the headgirl!!) I forgot the prayer and in front of all the 1000 students she told me that what a shame it is that Im studying in this school for 10 years and I don’t even know the prayer! I was almost about to cry but then I thought that this time I’ll keep quiet and next time I won’t give her the chance to complain…The next day she again shouted at me without a reason.But this time I didn’t tolerate it and I directly asked her what was my fault and I shouted back at a teacher for the first time…before that she kept insulting me withut reasons, for a long time I tolerated it but there comes a time when everyone has to stand up and just stop all the nonsense that’s happening around you…

I would suggest that you just remove the people who criticize you from your life..keep the people who make you feel good about yourself and you should yourself start feeling good about yourself.As Matt suggested go and confront your teacher.Silence her..! Don’t give her the chance to make you doubt yourself..! You know what you are capable of…Go and achieve what you want to….

Best Wishes

Crystal