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  • #181919
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear CarpeDiem:

    Did I understand  correctly: eight months ago and before you had an amazing social life, a decent relationship with a woman, good friends, enough money. Then you graduated and immediately, within a month or so, lost your social life, your friends, your girlfriends and money? You are now broke and unemployed.

    Questions: can you look for suitable employment, using your Master Degree? If not in your location, will it make sense for you to move?

    Regarding your ex girlfriend: you wrote that you were mean to her- was that after you graduated or before, can you elaborate?

    anita

    #181921
    CarpeDiem
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Thanks a lot for your reply.

    Yes, you understood perfectly well.

    I can’t change my city at the moment because I dont have enough money to pay advance rent. I am living in a hostel(which is cheap). At the moment in the country I live, the employment opportunities are really less. I live in Italy but I am from Asia.

    I was mean to her when we were together during our college days. I was mean to her because she was mean to me ( I realized too late that I was immature).

    #181925
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear CarpeDiem:

    Reads like you are in a tough spot right now.

    You wrote that your ex girlfriend was mean to you. How was she mean to you?

    anita

    #181931
    CarpeDiem
    Participant

    Well, because of my past relationships ( I have had a few relationships or one night stands before her), she thought I might cheat on her so trust was missing from her part. She will sometimes flirt with other guys but she will get mad that I liked a pic of one girl on FB. She was sometimes hypocrite. She will get mad when I will go out with friends but she will do the same. I had trust in her but maybe not 100%. At the same time, I must say that she was very nice to me when she could. She will hug me all the time. I think I loved her but we never said ‘I love you’ to each other….I think of her everyday. I am not able to catch a break but I am confident that things will get better. I am having difficulty of letting go…letting go of my past…letting go of her.

    #181935
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear CarpeDiem:

    It is difficult to accept… difficult, present life circumstances: living in a hostel, without friends, without family support, without a girlfriend, a job, money. What we do, in difficult present circumstances is look for comfort in memories and in fantasies. We hold on to the past so to feel better now.

    The problem with it is that following moments of warmth and comfort in memories (past that our brain remembers better than it was, for the purpose of finding comfort in it), is that the gap is great, the gap between what-is and what was, or what we imagine was.

    The more you think of how wonderful things were, the more terrible things now look.

    Better let go of the past. Let go of all that was. See what-is for what it is. This is your life now.

    Now, think where you go from here. A job, I am thinking, some kind of income producing job so that you can have enough money to move to a place where you can get a better job.

    anita

    #181937
    CarpeDiem
    Participant

    Yeah I a looking for a job in the mall to pay for rent and food. I really need to occupy my brain so as not to think of the past. I will try harder
    Thanks a lot for your message 🙂
    I really appreciate it

    #181941
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You are welcome, CarpeDiem. Post again, anytime.

    anita

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