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I need a game plan

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  • #236337
    Alia
    Participant

    I’ve posted a few times on these boards. I posted recently about losing my most recent job. I’ve yet to find a replacement. I’ve had a few interviews, but nothing has clicked for me yet. I still continue to apply and try.

    I’ve been bouncing back and forth all over the place like a ping pong ball. I know I need to do something, but I don’t know what. And no one in my life currently will talk me through the process to help me figure out how to proceed.

    I am applying for “traditional jobs.” I’m also trying for jobs I’ve seen where I can work remotely from home in some sort of capacity (as a writer or editor. I have experience with freelance writing and editing, so I thought I’d give it a try). I’ve also considered starting my own business and, just recently, have begun to wonder if I should return to school for further education.

    The thing is, with no income, money’s tight. It takes money to go to school, so, even though I’d love to, I’ve put that on hold temporarily. I have enough debt without taking on more even though that’s “good” debt. I’d love to start my own business, but I feel I need a bit more education for that, too, as I need to know how to get a business up and running. (I’ve found two courses that might be possibilities, but they are slightly on the expensive side, too, given that I’ve no active income).

    I’m getting really anxious and depressed. I’m not sleeping and I vacillate between overeating or not eating at all. I’m losing faith in myself (what little I have) and starting to feel desperate.

    Any ideas? Suggestions? I’m interested in hearing them. I’m tired of passively sitting by waiting for something to happen. I want to go out there and *make* it happen, I just don’t know how or what I want to do.

    Help.

     

    #236347
    Peter
    Participant

    Iā€™m tired of passively sitting by waiting for something to happen. I want to go out there and *make* it happen

    Hi Alia

    I definitely relate. Loosing a job can really do a number on our sense of self. I’ve heard that most people can expect to have three or more such transitions in a life time. I’m on my fourth as it concerns work only one of which I initiated.

    Reading your post the above line caught my eye. There is a art to “passively wait” that is very active. In the practice of zazen one sits, seemingly doing nothing, while observing ones flow of thoughts. The intention is not to have no thoughts but avoiding attaching to the thoughts and in this why allow them to flow.

    When we pointĀ  our consciousness at a thought, memory, fear… and attach to it we crate a continuous line of associated thoughts, memories, fear usually leading down the rabbit hole, anxiety, depression…Ā  As we learn not to attach our consciousness/focus to our thoughts and allow them to flow our mind “quiets” allowing us to see more clearly.Ā  This Zen, doing by not doing, requires eyes wide open and engaging in life as it shows up.

    Intuitively you know what you need to do. To get out there and “make” something happen. In other words engage in life as it shows up while at the same time “sitting” without attaching focus to your thoughts, fears…. in this way you will be better able to respond spontaneously to what shows up and in this way your path will become clear.

     

    #236449
    Alia
    Participant

    Hi, Peter, thanks for responding. I think if I understand you right youā€™re saying to relax and stay calm and things will happen as they need to happen. I just need to be patient and wait?

    #236689
    Alia
    Participant

    Anyone else have any thoughts?

    #236693
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Alia:

    I had someĀ  thoughts/question that I expressed to you earlier. In caseĀ  you didn’t read it, you can click on your username, then on Topics started, and next, on theĀ  titleĀ  of your previous topic of two months ag0 or so, theĀ  last post thereĀ  is mine, addressed to you.

    anita

    #236705
    Peter
    Participant

    stay calm and things will happen as they need to happen. I just need to be patient and wait?

    More like be patient and engage in life as it shows up. This is not a passive waiting, but active being.

    As you engage with life pay attention to what you allow your attention to attach to. Ā Notice, learn and allow the moment to flow by detaching your attention.Ā Participation in the flow entails noticing whey you are attaching your attention on a memory, frustration, fear or some such. When you notice feel it and check into what is real. (Fear is more often then not False Evidence Appearing Real). Once you identify what is ā€œrealā€ you will be in a better position to allow your attention/focus to move on to the next moment. Eventually you will discover what youā€™ve been looking for.

    (We think we can keep a moment from flowing by attaching and holding onto it but that is a lie. The moment flows regardless of what we do to try to control it so might has well respect that reality and participate vice attempt to stop the flow. More often then not its our resistance that creates the worry not the actually event.)

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