Dear Little Coconut,

I feel what you’re going through. As a young 20-something, i can really identify with the changing intensity of passions and wavering choices because there are indeed so many choices but no easy, pleasant ways. The last two years have especially been difficult as i constantly seem to see people finding wonderful jobs, going to swanky foreign universities or seemingly having the time of their lives. But here’s the catch – Passion for career is really a bit like marriage – you gotta stick to it despite some days where you just wanna leave it. Right now, i am juggling a number of options i want to consider after i am done with my postgrad degree in econ – the civil service exams next year, the placement thing, the teaching job exam, then the economic services exam. I also want to become a writer someday. Now girl, the civil service exams in itself is a huge huge commitment, toughest in terms of competition…but i guess what i am trying to say is very few people know what they exactly want so early, its a matter of sticking to that one thing, having the trial and error process but here’s the catch: time doesnt come back.

So my suggestion is to make a list of the things which you like the best among all the things you like – how you could really do it and what it possibly demands. Think about your personality traits, working styles and your future life goals in the next 10, 20 years. Keep 2-3 backup options in place as well. But really, decide a bit because honestly, time is precious. You will surely find your way but here’s the thing about solely relying on passion alone – its highly over-rated. Consistency is the key in most things in life. Ask yourself whether you are willing to really put yourself out there for the thing you supposedly love for even a few years – the long hours, the boring parts of it and be clear about why you have chosen it – whats your underlying driving force.

Well this is the best i can come up with in my current situation. I hope the others offer some useful ideas.

Regards,
Moon

I’ve been in this exact same vote. In fact, I think we all have at one time and been caught in this vicious cycle inside our heads.

If it’s one thing I did that really started my self-exploration process was the fact that I went traveling for quite some time. I went on my own, backpacked around, and by doing this I really got a sense of who I am and what makes me me. It wasn’t really until last year where I finally finalized on what it is I want to do with myself and pursue.

One of the bigger questions I asked myself was essentially “what is it that I want to do for the rest of my life if money were no object?” What would I be willing to do and provide for work if I wasn’t getting paid. What it came down to for me was that I want to help others, inspire, motivate, and assist people get back on their feet and move again. I want them to become their best self both at a physical level and mental level. Really ask yourself this question, and you might break down here and there, but doing this you can uncover a lot.

Secondly, what is it that you do on a daily basis that you love to do. What are your knacks? What are you good at? What are some things you find yourself lost in conversation with or reading about daily? These things can help focus you in on what it is that really makes up and embodies you. This is where knowing yourself really pays off. You can develop self-confidence once you understand yourself and love the things you do. Because you engage in these activities daily, you want to become better and better in this field, increasing that confidence ten fold to help carry you forward with your goals (hopefully that is doing something in the field that you engage yourself in daily).

I have also spent a lot of time with myself doing “me” things. I ponder on life a lot, and what it means to be successful, happy, living, being alive, etc. Spending a lot of time with yourself you can discover the endless potential within and the possibilities, but eventually tuning in into that one thing that makes you feel alive.

Little coconut, I have no doubt that you will find what it is that you want to do. Just, really try and explore yourself some more, whether it means spending alone time, going traveling, trying new experiences, and so forth. Just know and believe that everything is happening for a reason, and that you are on YOUR OWN LIFE PATH. Know that, and stay true to it!

Cheers,

Brett.

Little coconut,

Keep me updated on your progress! I am glad that I was able to shift your mindset in some way. In response to your “working 9-5, feel like I should be doing…” The big thing is, don’t do things that you should be doing. Instead, do things that you want to do. Don’t do what society intends you should do; do what you think you should do. If it means taking a leave of absence from your studies, quitting your job, taking a trip, taking a small hiatus, volunteer abroad, anything!! The reason why we fall into these slums is because society as put a generic label on things such as “by this point you need to be in school, by this point you need to have a career” etc. and you know what, a lot of people fall into this trap and become the sheep; they follow the herd! One thing I suggest is don’t be like everyone else and follow others. Go down your own journey and define it yourself.

For myself, I’ve been out of high-school for 5 years now and I’m just going back full-time next year and studying what I love to do. I’ll be 24 by that point, and by the time I graduate I’ll be 28. Despite others getting their degrees much younger, it doesn’t matter! I’m doing my own thing and that’s what matters the most. Live your own life and don’t follow others based on what they’re doing. Because what they’re doing isn’t you. You are you and not them.

I have faith in you! But you need to have it in yourself first and foremost!

All the best to you, and please keep me updated with your progressions through all of it!

Spidey