i have been in a very close relationship with this guys past 6years

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This topic has 20 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 9 months ago by Jennifer Boyatt.

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January 29, 2017 at 5:00 am #126316

samira
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purpose of telling that he financially helped me is to tell you how supportive he was. now you are judging me as if i am some gold digger i never asked him to pay my fees he willingly paid my fees bcz he dropped out from university and i had less amount to complete my degree. i didnt say he financially supported my mother/brother.my family is very respectable they would never accept someones money. i was just telling you background how much pressure i was facing when he asked me to get married.if i had any interest in his wealth i would have accepted his proposal even tho he was jobless but his family is very well off he was relying on them and i didnt want that. i never asked him to take me on shopping or give me money may be it was the reason he found me different from other girls.after his engagement i tried to stay away from him but he couldnt resist he texted called me to meet everyday my brother and sister were against these meetups but everytime i made excuses about job interview or smthing like that.he shuld have distance himself but he kept forcing me to meet he says i wont change a bit after marriage we will do same stuff and go out i told him this is wrong in evry way then he start crying and his melodrama made me rethink everthing but one month before his marriage he became more loving and caring and kept coming to my house and asked me if you say yes i will stop my marriage and then i started to think..plz plz guys dont judge me i am already suffering way too much m totally on bed bcz of his behavior he made me suffer with all these things he had nothing in his hands but still provoked me to say yes i had my future plans but i chnaged my mind and now i have nothing he is 80% burnt and his czn told me he wants to get rid of me and wants to start his normal life after recovery. if this was his plan then why did he created this drama why did he asked me to wait for him

January 29, 2017 at 9:30 am #126332

Nina Sakura
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Samira, I am sorry things are so hard now. It’s truly unfortunate that he is in such a state too.

Take your time to process whatever has happened. See, both of you have had a role to play in this entire thing not working out. But reality is this only that he is married now. He is committed to another. Whatever he says or you say, this is fact.

You need to now see things outside of his plans and ideas. Earlier you were so focused in your life. Now if you are shattered, even your family will suffer. Being angry and blaming him is pointless. Blaming anyone now won’t help either. He could have done things for whatever reasons. Even you had said not to wait for you, then you changed your mind.

Whatever the case, try to see the situation for what it is and move forward. Please consider why you were refusing marriage in the first place. Your priorities were different. You wanted an independent and strong man, not just a good person.

Don’t forget who you are and what you want. Start picking up the pieces. Cut ties with him. Let his own family deal with whatever has recently happened.

You calling and worrying won’t do anything for the situation.

January 29, 2017 at 9:37 am #126333

Anonymous
Guest

Dear samira:

It will be a good thing if you were no longer feeling the pain you are feeling. I would like to understand: what is it that you would like to happen at this point?

Do you want him to leave his new wife and move to Australia with you?

anita

January 30, 2017 at 2:36 am #126371

samira
Participant

it turns out his cousin was manipulating me so that i stay away from him i talked to him today he wants to be with me. when fire caught his body he thought its his last time and he tried to grab his phone to call me one last time even at that moment he was thinking about me. but now his face and whole body has burnt and he is not sure if i will accept him i told him m not backing off now i will accept him in any condition and i cant go to australia i cant even think of staying away from him. his parents are crying and apologizing for marrying him forcefully and they even let him call me everyday now,as he is out of city about 17hrs by road. he is asking me to come see him but my condition is not good i cant even walk. i will visit him with in few days with my mother.

January 30, 2017 at 7:42 am #126383

Anonymous
Guest

Dear samira:

Him getting burned in a fire, as well as his wife, that is a very sad development. How unfortunate.

I hope the two of them heal, that their marriage will dissolve, since it is based on deceit. I hope you and him live together well.

Please do not mock him for the burns on his face and body (like you mocked him for his weight, in the past). Treat him well. And get well yourself.

anita

January 30, 2017 at 8:54 pm #126433

Jennifer Boyatt
Participant

Dear Samira,

This is a hard spot in your life. It doesn’t feel good to get dis-entwined from someone’s energy, when you have been entwined for so long. You do need to cry and scream.

But, after that, then . . . you need to look up. Get up. Unbend from your despair. Get tough. Breathe again. I invite you to respect yourself a great deal, and go on a personal journey. Continue your higher education, and see where that takes you. I think that could be great for you.

As someone said, we all know the pain of losing love. Sometimes you just have to keep riding the boat down the current of the river and see what else beautiful is up ahead. As a young person, it may seem like he is the ‘only one’ and that this heartbreak is the worst thing that could ever happen to you. You get my age, and you realize that the good and the bad keep coming around–both. The bad comes. But the good comes, too. There will be more joy ahead, if you let it. Look up, sweetie.
~Jennifer
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